The result is finally out..

Our result has been declared.. I didn't flunk in any of the tough subjects..

I was on the way to my friend's house when I got a text from a friend that the result has been declared.. I wasn't nervous, didn't get those butterflies in my stomach feeling.. I was calm..

I took my phone and gave a call to the friend whose place I was headed towards.. Told her to check on the net as there are strong rumours that the result has been declared.. [We call it rumours until we get calls telling us their scores and asking us to disclose ours]

So as I reached her place, I was greeted with a tensed environment.. the result and the recent tiff.. The result was last I wanted to think about at that moment..[I know all this while I was so desperate to have a look at my score, but sometimes the things you desperately wanted all this while isn't that important]

I know the above statements are definitely contradictory to whatever I was saying all this while.. But the tiff is more important with a friend..

We were in college on Thursday contrary to our rule of not showing up on Thursdays.. [I break the rules I made myself, am flexible to some extent].. Why did we go isn't an issue.. [I don't just wanna start a fight on every small excitation].. So though unwillingly, I showed up.. I was trying to run away from the place as soon as possible.. So was trying to figure out ways and means..

I wonder why can't we see things coming..[Not in the physical sense, I meant troubles].. Everything was fine, we were attending the lab which was the only reason of showing up and then, as there weren't many people around, it was an amazing day to sit and chat.. I was talking to Kannu till we called it a day.. Talking about a number of things and people.. Kannu wasn't showing up either but later decided to come.. Anyways, in the end it turned into something of a sour taste.. Whatever may be the sequence of actions, it wasn't my fault..

I was headed to my friend's place to sort out the mess.. I was determined to just make things alright or put an end to it forever.. I just can't live with a few disturbing things, I try to talk about it and devise a mutually acceptable result.. No compromises for anyone!! Don't like to put people through something that I don't want to be subjected to myself.. I like to play a fair game!!

The policy of equality.. Whether it works or not is altogether a different issue, but I just can't subject self to such taxing situation where you are upset about all the recent happenings and wonder how to take things to the previous state or in a new direction.. I take things in my own hands and build them or spoil them.. I don't want to have a 'WHAT IF' in my life.. Its when you wonder all your life, 'what if I took the chance?', 'what if I gave it a try?', etc..

In short no 'what ifs' for me..

What was the reason for the displeasure that day?

Well, she was being too possessive.. I am someone who can't be at one place all the time.. I am like the wind, that is always on the move.. So, I meet you, spend a little time and move on.. I just feel suffocated and captivated when my freedom is restricted!! The tighter you try to hold me, the faster I slip through your fingers, just like sand..[;)] [I am good at similes]..

She wanted me to spend all my time with her.. Shona is sometimes a bit difficult.. I don't understand her.. This was never an issue between us.. She always understood this quality in me.. This unexplainable restlessness.. That I can't be at one place, with one person all the time!!

I am someone who just can't be happy when made a captive, then why has she started being this way? God, most of my friends turn into this kinda being sooner or later.. They want me to stick to them.. If I am attached to someone, I come back.. Never go too far away.. Just like a kite that's free, up in air, yet attached to someone via a thread.. So, if the thread holding me to you is too tensed, I break away.. [I know, too dramatic, but that's the way things are with me]

The discussion and fighting finally led to an accepted fact that I can't be bounded.. That I be let free.. No need to be so insecure, as I won't try to flee unless you try to hold on too fast to me..[:)]

Lessons learnt and trouble sorted.. I just hope the outcome of the discussion is memorized!!

And we don't find ourselves discussing it again!! Phew...