SUNNY DAYS .. [a poem I wrote]

I am not a poet, nor I feel I am too good at it, but some days, in fact a few months back as I was going through an emotional turmoil, I did scribble a few.. My sweet friends discouraged this habit of writing so sad pieces.. I didn't find them to saddening, but agreed.. As I deal with this sudden sadness that has eloped me, I thought of sharing my poem [an assemblage of lines that don't exactly rhyme] with you.. I know it really doesn't qualify for being a poem..:)

I don't know why, but I am feeling low

I don't know why, but the feeling doesn't go

I try and try, but can't succeed

A sudden pain has cast a spell on me!!

I sit alone and I cry

I long for you but can't reach out

dark clouds of despair have surrounded my bright sunshine

and the rain brings hailstone storm along

I walk along the road braving them all

wondering all this while

when would this darkness wither away

to give way to my bright sunny days!!

NOTE:
Let me know if you liked it.. I'll look forward to your responses..[:)]

[All the photos are copyright of the respective sites]

The word 'HONEST' leads to hypocrisy..!!

Honesty is good but is it feasible to be honest all the time.. I, who strongly believes in telling the truth with a little lie or a lie with a little truth, am always uncomfortable with the idea of a Complete Honest reply!!

Sorry, but its not something I believe in.. I am not a compulsive liar, nor am I against Honesty.. In fact, I am honest but with words, I tend to play.. You can't say I lied as it had some truth, but a damn honest reply is something that won't come out of me.. Even if I try to tell the brutal truth, I find myself fiddling with words and consciously changing the real words I wanted to say with something less fierce and something that gives me scope for manipulation later, in case the need arises.. Something that is more acceptable.. I would rarely say I didn't like it, when I am asked to give my opinion on something.. Many I times I feel that a sense of pride is associated with the question and I try not to offend by being honest.. Sometimes its the emotions that I try not to hurt with the brutal axe of words that may mar a person more than the physical bruises inflicted.. Physical bruises, I believe are healed but the one inflicted by waggy tongues aren't.. These grudges are nurtured with time and the bitterness increases..

Atleast I don't forget something so easily... I hold it against that person, though I may not exactly show it but the difference is still noticeable.. It takes time, sometimes a lifetime to take back things to as they were earlier.. So why this honesty in the first place?

I used the word hypocrisy because when we are at the receiving end, we tend to forget these above stated facts.. We purposely use the words 'Be Honest' at the end of our question to ensure we get to hear the truth, nothing but the truth.. We try to alert the conscience and judgemental capabilities and at the same time make them link each and every word they are going to use with ourselves as a whole.. We put them through this gruesome exercise while they struggle to find words that are least offensive.. When they are successful in being diplomatic, we comment - 'You weren't honest!! Be honest, I want to hear the truth..'

At this point I wonder is it the truth, 'The Honest Reply', they crave for or is it a way of hinting that 'Start Praising Me Now'??

I strongly believe in the second.. If you go to shopping with your friend and you like some particular dress and then you look at your friend for inputs, what kind of reaction do you get? Most often its a nod meant to say 'Yes, its good'.. How many times do you try on a new dress and ask 'How is it?' How many times you hear, "Its good'?

Most of the times we get these inputs.. How many times did your friend tell you - 'Are you out of your mind to wear it?'

The answer would rarely be a YES.. Why do you think they don't say it? Its not that they don't know its not looking good on you.. Neither they want you to look foolish by wearing that dress.. Its just that they fear being Honest and upsetting you.. When you are gleaming with happiness as you feel its too good, what on earth made you feel they'll spoil your mood?

Its just an example.. If you are alone with them and you ask for a brutal reply then maybe you'll get to hear it, but in public, forget it..

I tell the exact truth when I know it wont be a nasty scene.. When we are on phone or when we are alone discussing things formally.. I have learned it through pain but its what I am sticking to since ages.. :D

The most amazing display of hypocrisy comes when you sit on a round table in canteen with classmates and friends and a bottle in spun around to point to you.. Yes, the terrible game of 'Truth and Dare'... I hate the game.. Not that I am a coward.. I have done the most disgusting dares [that you can imagine], as I prefer dares to those silly truths where you have to tell the TRUTH while people ask you about anything from your personal life to the most gruelling activity you are subjected to.. Its called a kind of 'ice breaker' but I called it a 'tie breaker'.. Why?

Here we are asked to say something we like about all the people surrounding the table and something we dislike about them..!! Its much more difficult then running around the entire canteen on one feet!! I am comparing the two, as I have done both.. And believe me its easier to run on one feet then tell the 'so called truth' about all with all the eyes fixed on you and piercing you as soon as you speak out their name to say things about them!! Its difficult to say good things about everyone without repeating the words you have used, I feel like rushing my hands through my bag and reach out for the dictionary to find synonyms for the adjectives I have already used!! As you struggle to find equally good adjectives for each pair of prying eyes, inside running the word search, you pray that the next step be some how skipped!! As you finish it to every one's greatest satisfaction and take a sigh of relief, you are forced to go through the round two!!

ROUND TWO

Here comes the litmus test.. You are now supposed to say one thing you hate about them.. For the past few minutes as you were struggling with adjectives to say good things about them and did put up a great show by getting good round of applause from all, satisfying their egos, you some how didn't see this coming.. You were so involved in the first exercise that you forgot about the round 2!!

Imagine to struggle to find a 'I don't like in you' thing in them while not contradicting the qualities you attributed to them in round 1 and at the same time be least offensive!! It tests all your social, literary and diplomatic skills one and the same time.. I think I should tell the recruiters about the benefits of this exercise and how it can help them find the best minds!! I would thus ensure myself a great future, a good job for coming up with this amazing idea and would definitely be a prized possession of the company.. The best employee award.. Wow!! What an amazing distraction in this testing situation..

As every one was interested in hearing good things and learning by heart the adjectives I used for them, I wonder who to start with!!

I take the bull by the horns and start in the same sequence as round 1 giving the others to still feel proud of the adjectives of round 1 as I unleash hell of round 2..Cautiously I use my words, my mind working like a super computer checking every possible meaning of the word I am about to utter about the unsuspecting man!! As I speak a word a loud laugh and a few 'Oh, you are right' and 'that's not correct' can be heard and I defend saying 'Its my opinion, I may be wrong'.. Soon the most terrifying moments are over but still a discussion is being held on each word I used.. And I explain.. And explain.. At this point I wonder why do people ask for it when they can't take it? The word would be quoted in the future conversations along with my name and I wonder why they remember the adjectives I used to point out to the things I hate while the most splendid adjectives of their good qualities were soon forgotten!!!
As I deal with this hypocrisy and side effects of being honest and saying the truth, I vow not to choose TRUTH in my future encounter with the game, still safer, keep off the game, which is difficult as you would be labelled 'Unsocial' for the rest of your life.. :D

love Aaj Kal ....

The movie I am waiting to hit the theatres and multiplexes next door.. The title 'Love Aaj Kal' means 'Love Now a Days' in English but this Hinglish name looks so sweet and so much like the lingo of the youth here in India, that is quite a lovely mix of two languages - Hindi and English..

Whenever I look at the stills and the trailers of the movie, I somehow feel a deep connection with the yet to be released movie.. I remember the last time I was waiting so anxiously for a movie, it was last year at the time of release of Jab We Met.. One of the best of all movies I have seen.. It was a perfect love story, a perfect fairytale romance, a perfect feat for the eyes and a sure worth of the money spent on the ticket..:)

I just hope that the songs in the movie add to the story telling and aren't placed in a juxtaposition to mar the flow of the film.. Sometimes the most beautiful of sound tracks are so timed in the movie to take away the entire fun of the movie rather than adding to the whole experience of watching the movie...

Lets just hope I get to catch it on the big screen and feel the magic of love and live a lifetime in a span of few hours..Hear the music pump in my chest and my heartbeat synchronise with the beat and my heart feel each emotion to get a contented sense of being able to understand the complex and much hyped emotion LOVE...


[The photos are the copyright of the respective sites]

putting my mind on a rigourous exercise routine ..

When you are sitting idle in your room and having nothing as such to do, I realise that the old famous saying is so damn relevant!! The saying I was talking about is - An idle mind is a devil's workshop.. Yes of late, I have had enough time for myself and thus I have been thinking of ways to spend it judiciously and prudently.. So I gave blogging a try, not just to pass time but also to improve my literary skills.. I thought maybe this way I did give a vent to my pent up feelings and would feel a little less lonely.. Lonely beacuse my best friend is off to Singapore for a brief holiday.. I share each and every small detail of my life with her and what I like most about it is that I am neither judged nor told what should I do or what should have been done!! She also feels this urge of letting me know what happened in the meanwhile we weren't together.. So its a mutual feeling..

I have many friends and I consider self to be too blessed or gifted to have an army of friends but we always have this human tendency of not being able to treat them all alike, so she is favoured and a bit more pampered and tolerated.. Tolerated is the word I used as she can test my patiences to a greater extent than others... It was all written in a humourous way, so no offences to the great lady... I like to address the females I know as ladies rather than girls because I am used to hearing this word more, thanks to my English teacher way back in school, who used to address us as 'my beautiful/fair lady' rather than 'hey girl'...
Back to the track, oh, I know I loose track too often.. So since I can't share a vivid description of the day to day happenings with her and I feel its not the right place to discuss all this here too, I am trying to device out means to talk yet not deluge too many details.. So, I decided to talk about things that plague my mind and the silliest thoughts the things evoke in my mind.. An article, a movie, something someone said to me or to some friend of mine which was duly reported to me.. Whatever that triggers my mind not to be in the state of idleness and into the state of working overtime to try and derive meanings.. To present my logical and illogical thoughts in some form to be understood by someone in this world...

Talking about things in this manner is better than sitting idle and letting your brain turn into a piece of rusted junk that refuses to work at a short notice.. Believe me, just like anyother part of your body, it needs to be made to excersise to keep in shape.. Shape here doesn't actually means the stats but to sum it up in the most effective words would be to maintain your IQ and EQ level intact... Your sense of humour is also affected by constant boredom and terrible feelings of worthlessness creep in with time and mar your self confidence.. I dont wanna end up like this, so even if I know no one is really reading it.. Atleast I am getting the illusion of being heard...[;)]
I know how to find happiness in the smallest pleasures of life.. Its fun to live life like this when you feel complete and contented..

Lines I wrote and would like to get a copyright for!!! ;)

Every now and then, I come up with some witty lines that I wish I could share with the world and also claim them when I hear someone utter them in their conversation..[;)]
Just kidding, but it definitely is facinating.. The thought itself sends me in a Dream world where every other person is speaking my lines.. They aren't exactly like pick up lines or lines you read on T-shirts but some intelligent sentences with great meanings or just some funny wacky lines deeply engrossing your need for self-importance.. We read a few famous lines that some very famous men in history said on their death bed or in their speech while addressing people and we read them with a deep sense of knowledge that we borrowed these lines from them.. Recently movie dialogues are the biggest source of great lines and the moment someone utters them, we shout out loud, 'Oh! you just said that famous line which Shahrukh Khan said in DDLJ'... Or, ' Hey, that's a cool line, but for once use your own line..' in a manner to just tease the person or to embarrass the person depending on the tone... The tone matters a lot in an oral conversation.. The same arrangement of words in a sentence can mean a number of things depending on the tone, which must be clearly intercepted by the listener to avoid hassles.. But that's altogether a different story and would be discussed in detail someother day...
Today I'll focus on my fascination with the concept of my own lines.. [:D]

So let me try to hog some limelight for arranging these wonderful words in a particular fashion that is most appealing to me..

• Putting your trust in someone is the most difficult thing and still 'trust me' is the sentence you hear so often..
• If I were made Almighty, it would be the greatest gamble, yet worth taking as someday I would definitely be in a mood to benefit you..
• Change is so inevitable yet I would detest it and deter it as long as I can!!
• The most intelligent thing to do is always the last thing to hit you..

So while I try to pen down a few more such lines, let me know if I can really get copyright for them ...[;)]

the loathed machine..

The computer.... oh! the machine, I need so much n I despise so much.. My computer is just fine.. We bought it jst 2 years back.. too young to behave in the way it does!! And to add to my plight, it secures the worst for me!! It works jst fine wen my sisters are using this damn machines, bt as soon as it sees me.. God knows why, it starts hanging... It jst hates me so much ... It would disconnect me from the net n would restart again n again whenever I want to use it but works just fine with my sister...
i would have dismissed it as just a few coincidences if it would not have given me those terrible days!!
I had given time to my friend to meet online and chat.. I would be all ready to work on the machine by the time the clock showed the designated time.. I would sit up in the chair n it would take hours to start n in the meanwhile we would text each other that maybe its not the day...
as soon as he announces that he is going offline, the machine would start working miraculously!!! If it had been jst an incident, I wouldn't have made sch an opinion about the machine.. next time I would give the machine an hour or so to settle down to normal functioning, but as soon as I would need it, it would go crazy again ... INSANE!! It wouldn't log me in, it wont let me sign in n work like a normal computer when I sit on that chair in front of it... It wont save my documents wid the hit of a button.. I have to hit it more than thrice.. It doesn't let me even print a single page without wasting pages.. Its not my fault.. It wastes paper.. We all know how trees are being cut indiscriminately... the issue of global warming bothers me too but the assignments are important too n I can't give the insensitive teachers these excuses as they would dismiss them as lame excuses!!

I could have put the entire blame on my machine, the one at my place if the incidents weren't repeated in the college labs n friend's house... People joke about the fact that I m a virus that makes each computer sick n they never recover from it... Feel like smiling on the luck of this poor little gal!! well everyone is laughing shamelessly on my race so you can too laugh as the possibility of seeing me in sch a situation is rare for all of you!!! In the I-lab, the computer alloted to me was jst fine until I was seated in its chair.. My teacher who is really fond of me asked me gently to start working on the machine.. I answered a bit embarrassed that the computer has suddenly gone out of order.. She arranged another seat for me and this one didn' even start!! so she made me share a computer with my friend n she joked that i should keep at arm's distance from the machine for it to work comfortably..[:] everyone had a good laugh, including me... n i always pray that the machine shows its hysterical nature when I sit in front of it in the exam.. n it didn't disappoint me.. the program ws right, but it didn't run n finally the examiner left my desk scratching his head n muttering - "god knows what's wrong with it!" well it jst saved me...

At my friend's house.. we wanted to watch the holiday pics that were stored in her computer.. she sat on the chair, I standing right behind her n to our dismay the computer didn't start... Tired of trying again n again she was loosing her temper n I ws tired of standing.. so I went out of the room for a stroll n miraculously, the machine could b started without any trouble now... I hated it so much .. Well it was the joke of the evening that was told to each n every member of my friend's family n later to all our friends n even I enjoy talking about my misfoutune with the machine...

so whenever the machine ditches me n i can't catch up wid a friend on the pre-determined time or loose an important document coz of the fault in its saving system.. We all know whom to blame ..[:)]

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