I am afraid of rash driving..

Did I tell you about the travel to Noida to meet my cousin..

It was a nice Sunday morning and we started getting ready for leaving the house by 10.. As we started off, I knew its gonna be hard.. Why?

Well, I knew I won't be able to handle it and thus had packed the newspaper and my headphone to listen to music and read while we were on the move.. I like travelling but rash driving makes me mad.. I just can't stay calm and relaxed when the vehicle is running at great speed and in a zig-zag manner..

My Dad can be categorized as a rash driver.. He drives at a great speed and also takes very sharp turns.. I have these panic attacks, these anxiety attacks!! I can take a ride on all the various rides in an amusement park without sweating my palms but a ride in my Dad's car makes me sweat and have increased heartbeat!! I feel anxious and I start praying to lord that I step out of the car with my entire family unhurt!! This is the extent of anxiety I experience..

So in the morning as our car was speeding on the highway, I asked my father to drive a bit slow, or at least not that recklessly, but it was of no good help!! In the end, I took out my headphones and let the music blare into my ears.. As I reached our destination, I almost forgot about the journey till here.. But, I was to go through it all over again!! I just don't know why he is such a bad driver.. I was praying all the time, I was inside the car and I was crying.. I wished I never get in this situation again..

Back home I discussed it with dad.. OK, I was a bit harsh with my words and we fought over it..

But, the next day I woke up and we were ready to talk about it and I wish he drives a bit more cautiously the next time we go out together..

Hate news channels..

I hate the news channels.. I hate them for featuring the health sections, the terrorism special or just predicting the last day of Earth's history, especially the Hindi news channels.. They can drive any sane man nuts!!

My parents have this strange fixation with Hindi news channels and Hindi newspaper.. All my life, [I know I am not old enough to use the phrase, still it makes me feel that I can express my despair more effectively if I use this particular phrase] I have felt that the Hindi newspaper and news channels are misleading.. I feel, hardly any news telecasted as 'Breaking News' is really worth the title.. Anyways, I hate my parents for believing whatever strange news they show.. Their Pakistan Special and terrorism special news are all hypothetical.. I hate them for ending the bulletin with a question like 'What will India do?' or 'How will America react now?'.. Let the people responsible decide and call a press conference and we all will know what India or America would do..

I sometimes wonder why they want to create panic and chaos when there are other important issues to be scrutinized by the vigilant eyes of a journalist.. They run a single piece of news for hours together making it an irritating issue rather than a major issue of concern.. Be it the 'Arushi Murder case' or any other sensational and controversial piece of news... They'll go on and on about it.. sometimes its the news with all the details they telecasted a few minutes back running again and again..

I hate the health section more though.. At least in case of the same piece of news, even my parents are fed up of the news channel for the day.. But they never miss the India-Pakistan news.. The terrorist camps in the POK and so on.. And their other favorite is the Health special sections, in which a doctor would take calls from frenzied callers like my parents who either suspect to be ill or are diagnosed with the disease.. How can a doctor help you by just hearing you, without seeing your report?? The doctor on panel keeps repeating, consult your doctor every time someone calls, but its useless trying to explain the frantic callers.. I wonder, why they don't ask the channel not to advertise a number to call on.. May be the channels earns through these calls made to their numbers.. I don't know about these channels though I am sure these reality shows do earn out of these calls..

My problem is that my mother is in the habit of self diagnosis.. She hears the doctors talk about a disease and concludes she has the disease.. I know she has a unstable blood pressure and has arthritis but she thinks every single disease is developing in her body.. Its sometimes so irritating to hear her go on and on about the diseases she can develop and is developing.. She thinks very soon she'll be a diabetic and soon a patient of paralysis!! God save her soul of all these self inflicted tortures!!!

The 'I don't like it anymore syndrome'...

I don't like an off when everyone is going to be at home.. Its a feeling I get after I had been wanting to spend time with everyone for quite sometime..

I think almost everyone has had such a feeling.. Its a feeling that you have when you don't want a thing you once wanted.. I get this feeling way too frequently.. I want something now and may be I won't like to have it the next moment.. Its worse when you get this 'I don't want it now' feeling when you have already got the object it signifies.. I have been dealing with it for way too long..

Once I wanted this dress, I was longing for it .. Thinking about it day and night.. And then I bought it.. And now, I don't want it.. I wonder, why I bought it in the first place.. What did I like in it?? This change of taste and attitude is sometimes harder to deal with.. [It was too easy to shut that dress off in some corner]

Its when you feel same about a living being.. Another human being for instance.. I think for a pet too, it would be a very taxing situation.. It may be the reason why my mum shudders even at the prospects of having a pet.. Though I promise her day in and day out that I would take responsibility of all the aspects regarding rearing and nurturing it, of its upbringing, to be more precise.. Oh god!! again I am wandering off the main topic..

I think its difficult to understand for a 'Die-hard Romantic', but others who are more realistic would agree.. We just wake up one day and all the love we had, I think it wasn't love, well, I feel liking is a better suited word.. The point is, we don't like it with the same zest anymore!! We may pretend to have the same feelings, but I feel this pretending won't hide the facts for too long!! Then you try to look at all the flaws and negatives about that person and are busy finding reasons to break free..

I feel, its in the best interest of both the concerned parties to come clean.. Just make them sit and spill it out in front of them.. Its always better to have a one on one conversation.. I would prefer to say it out once and for all to the person.. This way I would save self from being fake, [Oh!! I hate that fake smile that is supposed to mean approval or 'yes, I am paying attention to whatever you are saying', while all this while, inside I am feeling just the opposite].. I won't have to put up with someone I don't like..[You all know how much I dislike hypocrisy]...

I know, you must be thinking that its easy to be the one getting this, 'I am fed up feeling'.. Seems she has never been the other party.. I am not sure, if I were ever the second party, because no one ever had the courage to tell me that 'I am over you'.. Its not necessary that only a boyfriend has the right to say so, even your friends, teachers or just classmates can say this to you..

The point is I would like to hear the line with a reason, to a moron ignoring me day in day out.. I won't kill you for saying that certain aspects of my personality are just not that interesting to you anymore.. It would be nicer than blowing me off the handle every time we are together or I try to talk to you.. Walk up to me, tell your problem and we would see if we could fix it or not.. Whether its the final call or not.. Whether we can still adjust or ignore or accept it more gracefully or not..

I am lucky to have honest conversation with most of my good friends.. Some friends that I am no longer in contact with know why we lost touch.. They know why I wasn't talking to them or why I am not talking to them now.. Why I am angry.. And we try to resolve the matter or come to a compromise.. But I hate some who have left some question marks!! I don't know what went wrong.. I sometimes get upset over the fact that I don't know why it didn't work out.. I want answers.. I want replies.. I wonder for sometime.. Struggle to get it right.. Or know the reason.. And as it should be, one day just wake up without even a trace of it in my system.. Then, I don't want to know what happened, what could have it been like if we talked about it.. I am happy, I am not wasting anymore of my energy on a dead relation in my life.. I can now use this energy conserved to build another relation that I hope to nurture till I get that 'I don't want it anymore' feeling again!!...[;)]

The tests are over and we got another stint with holidays..

Yesterday was the last day of studying so hard..

It was the day of our last internal evaluation tests.. I hate the sincerity now attached with the centralized tests!! As I wrote once, I hate internal evaluation as they grill us throughout the year!! I wish I could put an end to it, or at least wish that the students in my class took it less seriously.. Seeing them all burying their heads in the pile of books, I feel I'll be left behind if I don't do the same.. You can say peer pressure makes me read for these exams.. But still I did go to college unprepared for the demeaning test!! It was a very strange bad feeling that I get whenever I see myself lagging behind on the scoreboard.. It drives me mad and brings me to my senses.. [The success rate, however, is 1 in 10.. But still I love that 10 percent chance change]..[:)]

Now since we have got an amazing off [We aren't showing up till October 6], I was wondering how I would spend these 10 days.. As I know no amount of planning would help, I am letting impulse and the demand of the moment guide me spend these 10 amazing offs that I got!!!

DAY 1

It has all been sorted.. I am going to pay my cousin a visit.. We are going to their place to spend some time together and have some fun.. Lets see how great or bad it turns out to be..[;)]

Poem by a follower..

Hello everyone...

Good morning..

This is a poem by 'Shashank Rastogi'.. He wanted to share it with you all via my blog.. [I am happy, he felt like speaking through my blog]

Still waiting for that day

When she broke my heart...

It was a beautiful morning,

all the lovely birds and flowers were yawning,

in the form of small droplets,the rain was falling,

n in my mind,peace and calmness were crawling...

then,she came up,n welcomed me,

with her mesmerizing smile,

but all this,was just for a while...

suddenly the light rain got heavy n the clouds got dark,

and all my peace,just blew up with a spark....

all this, was just becoz of her expressionless attitude,

and why i fell for her,is a mistake,for which...

I still shiver in my own ingratitude..

everytime I gave her a flower n she just said thanks,

all my sentiments in pain n distrust,got hanged....

everytime I raised my hand,to hold hers,

and she didn't react.

I used to settle myself by saying that,

a day will cum,

when she herself will hold my hand,

when she herself will give me the hug,

in which I would be able to hold my entire world,

but she, destroyed all my hopes,

n i feel like hanging myself up with a rope...

but in my mind,there is a huge fear,

that, d day I die,will there be,

on my dead body,

a single drop of her tears.....

I m still waiting for those hands,to complete,

the spaces between mine,

I m still waiting, for that hug,for that kiss....

and in my life,her support is something,that

I really miss.

I m still waiting for that day,

when my dreams will become true,

n my life, will get the proper way..

NOTE :- I tried to give the poem a name.. So if you have a better suggestion, please leave a comment..

[Photo courtesy :- dreamstime.com]

The most disgusting experience .. So Yucky..!!!

Oh! I am so horrified and tormented that all this while I wanted to rush back home and write about this unpleasant and yucky experience I had today... I need to hear a few sympathetic words..

It was a very hectic day right from the start.. Mum has been experiencing a roused cervical pain since yesterday.. I was so worried about her, did even massage with 'Iodex', but its not helping.. I woke up in the morning and did give her a hot water bottle to tend her aching muscles.. Did massage the area again in the morning.. In the whole process, I didn't read much for the test today.. No regrets, mum's more important than a test..

I was so busy the entire morning that I didn't had time to breathe till I left for the college [The test was scheduled at 1:30 and I leave for college at around 12].. I bathed in a hurry, just swallowed my breakfast without chewing it and somehow reached the stand just to catch the bus in time.. God! finally into the bus..

I thought of giving a read to at least one of the two units [The questions were to be framed from 2 units only].. As I read the pages from the book, I started explaining them to a friend who didn't even had the subject.. [So sweet of him to still hear me and also providing a nice feedback].. Lucky me, so far so good.. I felt things were finally looking up.. But it was just the small interval between the two parts of my so tiring and so irritating day..

I reached college and gave a call to my friend.. The phone was answered.. Its such a big deal because my college is outside my state of residence and thus not many pick up calls because of roaming charges..

I almost shouted, 'Why the hell did you answer my call?'

Pat came the reply, though in the form of a question only-'Who the hell is this?'

I then recognised the voice, well that was the first time the one on the other side of the phone got to speak.. Well it was her mum.. Oh God! what a language I was using!!

It wasn't the end of that sarcastically hilarious conversation..

I said in a very taunting voice, 'She has left her back home?'

I was feeling so intelligent, but this feeling was to be so short-lived, I never thought about it, not even in my dreams..

Her mum replied, 'Oh girl! You have called on the land line number!!'

I was silenced by my stupidity.. You can laugh out loud.. No need to hold back self..

Well, I went in the main building then.. Met my friends.. Revised the one unit I had just read while Jai was trying to gain some points to write on the answer sheet.. She was blank and unprepared before this small conversation.. You must be wondering, 'Why was she blank?'

She didn't have the book while I had two.. She didn't tell me about it till yesterday evening.. So we didn't get time to exchange it..

I went to my room.. I gazed at the question paper for a few minutes as the questions were framed from three units rather than two!! Oh my God!! All my earlier calculations and the hope of clearing the exam sank!! As I still got myself to look at it more observantly.. I marked the questions i knew and I could attempt!! [There is a difference in between the questions whose answers you know and the questions you can attempt!! Hope some are understanding my point].. Anyways, to add fuel to fire, the paper was lengthy..

I generally leave the examination hall by half time but today I had just done a question and a half by then.. One and a half questions were still remaining.. I loose interest in writing the paper as soon as the clock shows half time is over.. We are programmed that way in all these years in college..[:D] Anyways, I somehow did the second question to my greatest satisfaction and just attempted the third question just for the sake of it..[:)]

[THE MOST IRRITATING THING IN THE ENTIRE DAY]

But in this One and a Half hour, I was subjected the most horrifying and yucky experience.. My Exam partner is so damn filthy and clumsy.. He is lousy, dirty and smutty.. He is a grotty, grubby and disgust arousing person!!! I felt like puking there and then.. On his damn sick face.. I wish I really do some damage by writing about him here on my blog..

What did he do to deserve all this? You must be wondering.. Read on to know..

He sat there, next to me, digging his nose.. There was this excavation work going on while I sat there making the worst face I can make.. Oh my God!! I never thought any guy can have the courage to dig his nose in public like that!! It wasn't the end of it.. He took out his nose dirt, made a ball of it and then stick it on our desk!!! YUCK...

Didn't anyone ever told him that such activities that arouse feelings of puking from the meek spectators are prohibited in public!!!!

As I saw him proceed on his,' Oh so relieving inner journey', I was filled with horror!!! He was the most annoying being in the room.. For a change, the teacher who I hate so much fared above him!!! As another teacher took his ID card, I wished he throws him out too.. But, I wasn't destinied to get this small relief!! Somehow I finished my paper and ran out to pour my heart out to all my friends... I told the incident to my friends, friends of my friends and everyone I knew but I wasn't still feeling better till I wrote this and told about it to my very good friend on phone...

The first test of the week long harassment..

It was hell lot of a day..
Waiting for the bus, Oh! it seemed like eternity..

I had set out at 11:20 a.m. and walked to the stand.. I stood there waiting for the bus.. The waiting minutes seem hours when you are alone there on the stand waiting for the bus to show up.. All the others from my stand went in the morning itself and I didn't go because I was sure I'll be bored and tired like hell before entering the examination hall..

Oh! these bloody tests!! They are centralised now and are so much of pain.. Earlier, we used to have tests as and when we wanted, sometimes we used to postpone it to such a great extent that we didn't have to give the test!! What an amazing time of our life it was!! We would give open book test [though the book was opened illegally[:D]].. Yet it was so much of fun rather than a tormentor..

No matter how much we want them back, this is the new way devised by our anguishing teachers.. Oh!! How much we suffer because of their evil tricks!! Anyways, they not only make us feel the horrid examination hall environment, but also make it a point to call the marks we get now as a criteria for internals.. Do they really consider the scores we get in these bloody tests, I am not sure but I am dead sure about the main intention behind these chafing tests.. They are the provisions for the desperate and power hungry teachers to gain some power and the feeling of 'I am so damn important'..

Do they really gain it? I am again not sure of what they gain out of it but I am sure this delusion is soon overpowered by the truth.. The truth that this faux sense of power is short lived.. Those who are deeply engrossed in self-worth don't gain much out of this.. They always feel they are important and all powerful [I detest self from using the word 'ALMIGHTY' because they do suffer from some sort of complex]..

Anyways, the test was fine and I did read a few topics.. As far as the rest of the one and a half hour before the departure time of buses is concerned, it flew like anything.. We laughed and talked.. The topic of discussion today was Hindi Movies.. Followed by a small recitation of the dialogues of one of my all time favourite movies, Meine Pyaar Kiya.. It was so much of fun enacting one of my favourite scenes from the movie.. We didn't realise when the clock turned 4.. The peon came and asked us to vacate the class and proceed towards our buses and then we all glanced at the watch and sighed that we didn't realise that it was an hour since we were chatting!! It was fun and the journey back home was just fine..

A funny incident..
I saw a blue car with four guys in it.. The funny thing was that the hind door was open.. It was half open to be precise.. I saw it and then looked at it with eyes wide open.. It was in a way to attract the attention of the guys occupying the car.. Well, as in most such cases, they followed the bus for sometime, did drive the car closer to my window seat and left.. I was happy to see them leave, it was the best part..

Lesson learnt:
Never look in a way to attract attention.. Its fun but always deleterious to hog the limelight..

why do we have tests!![:(]

I have been at my place since Saturday.. Went to visit my friend and buy a book on Friday.. We will be having our sessionals from Tuesday and I am not prepared.. Nor I am in a mood to study... I have this strange theory.. I know what you are thinking, another boring theory.. No, its not!!

I live my life to its fullest and being a true science student, I present my theories for every small or big happenings..[;)]

This is the theory many of us believe in.. All those who don't love to study for tests present it at some point in their lives..

Its called 'The Theory of Deteriorating Interest'..

It states the more you read before the final exams, the more prone you are to feel bored during the final exams preparations thereby performing badly in the finals.. I always felt like that and I never wasted my energy preparing for the small tests that don't have to do much with our final result.. I thus hate this new concept crawling in our education system... The class performance based grading system.. I would have been crushed badly if I were to live in those circumstances.. I thank my starts for not putting me through this gruesome exercise!!

I wonder how the students cope up with this extra pressure of being sincere 24X7, while I prefer a few days of hard work to this faking throughout the year!! Study hard and fare well in exams while play and have fun throughout the year.. These are the years of careless existence while as adults we will be supposed to be 'Oh! so sincere employee'.. Hard working nerd who is 24x7 trying to put up a great image and work hard to earn a better position in the institution, so why spoil these amazing years by working 24x7 like a Donkey for grades.. If someone ever asks me for my opinion, it would always be against the class performance based grading system!!

I am having this persistent headache since Saturday [Yeah, may be the examphobia].. I slept through the day.. Doing nothing and just lying in bed, I didn't realise the time pass by.. I was thinking of studying a bit on Sunday to at least write a page in the test.. So, I thought of just going through a chapter.. But, as luck has it.. I didn't felt like studying after sometime.. I was tired and sleepy.. I received a text from Paro asking the same question I asked her on Friday, 'Do you know what to study from the book'??[:D] This is our pet question.. We ask each other this question whenever we start studying.. Be it a written exam, an oral test or a viva for the finals, we are always clueless about what is to be studied..[:D]

I read the text after quite sometime as I was sleeping.. I got a few more anxious texts from her and as I saw them after a few hours passed by, I thought of giving her a call.. I talked to her and we discussed how boring the subject was and how we were so disinclined to study even a page!!! As both of us came up with the same probable questions, we decided to prepare them and go.. I know she won't rest till she is prepared, but for me, its just fine to prepare those two questions!!

As I am thinking to at least give it a try, there is a war going on inside me.. The lazy me wants to sleep and enjoy the day at hand and flunk tomorrow while the other geeky me wants to take a plunge into the book and come out with some knowledge of the subject!!

As I try to resolve the conflict, I am signing out and what I did and who won, I would let you know soon..

The result is finally out..

Our result has been declared.. I didn't flunk in any of the tough subjects..

I was on the way to my friend's house when I got a text from a friend that the result has been declared.. I wasn't nervous, didn't get those butterflies in my stomach feeling.. I was calm..

I took my phone and gave a call to the friend whose place I was headed towards.. Told her to check on the net as there are strong rumours that the result has been declared.. [We call it rumours until we get calls telling us their scores and asking us to disclose ours]

So as I reached her place, I was greeted with a tensed environment.. the result and the recent tiff.. The result was last I wanted to think about at that moment..[I know all this while I was so desperate to have a look at my score, but sometimes the things you desperately wanted all this while isn't that important]

I know the above statements are definitely contradictory to whatever I was saying all this while.. But the tiff is more important with a friend..

We were in college on Thursday contrary to our rule of not showing up on Thursdays.. [I break the rules I made myself, am flexible to some extent].. Why did we go isn't an issue.. [I don't just wanna start a fight on every small excitation].. So though unwillingly, I showed up.. I was trying to run away from the place as soon as possible.. So was trying to figure out ways and means..

I wonder why can't we see things coming..[Not in the physical sense, I meant troubles].. Everything was fine, we were attending the lab which was the only reason of showing up and then, as there weren't many people around, it was an amazing day to sit and chat.. I was talking to Kannu till we called it a day.. Talking about a number of things and people.. Kannu wasn't showing up either but later decided to come.. Anyways, in the end it turned into something of a sour taste.. Whatever may be the sequence of actions, it wasn't my fault..

I was headed to my friend's place to sort out the mess.. I was determined to just make things alright or put an end to it forever.. I just can't live with a few disturbing things, I try to talk about it and devise a mutually acceptable result.. No compromises for anyone!! Don't like to put people through something that I don't want to be subjected to myself.. I like to play a fair game!!

The policy of equality.. Whether it works or not is altogether a different issue, but I just can't subject self to such taxing situation where you are upset about all the recent happenings and wonder how to take things to the previous state or in a new direction.. I take things in my own hands and build them or spoil them.. I don't want to have a 'WHAT IF' in my life.. Its when you wonder all your life, 'what if I took the chance?', 'what if I gave it a try?', etc..

In short no 'what ifs' for me..

What was the reason for the displeasure that day?

Well, she was being too possessive.. I am someone who can't be at one place all the time.. I am like the wind, that is always on the move.. So, I meet you, spend a little time and move on.. I just feel suffocated and captivated when my freedom is restricted!! The tighter you try to hold me, the faster I slip through your fingers, just like sand..[;)] [I am good at similes]..

She wanted me to spend all my time with her.. Shona is sometimes a bit difficult.. I don't understand her.. This was never an issue between us.. She always understood this quality in me.. This unexplainable restlessness.. That I can't be at one place, with one person all the time!!

I am someone who just can't be happy when made a captive, then why has she started being this way? God, most of my friends turn into this kinda being sooner or later.. They want me to stick to them.. If I am attached to someone, I come back.. Never go too far away.. Just like a kite that's free, up in air, yet attached to someone via a thread.. So, if the thread holding me to you is too tensed, I break away.. [I know, too dramatic, but that's the way things are with me]

The discussion and fighting finally led to an accepted fact that I can't be bounded.. That I be let free.. No need to be so insecure, as I won't try to flee unless you try to hold on too fast to me..[:)]

Lessons learnt and trouble sorted.. I just hope the outcome of the discussion is memorized!!

And we don't find ourselves discussing it again!! Phew...

Another lecture saga...

I was staring at the black board and wondering how to feel the minimum effect of the passing minutes [I start staring at the watch as soon as an irritating teacher enters].. Few seconds into the lecture and I was already looking for ways to spend the time without aching my already tensed nerves.. I didn't want to make anyone suffer because of me, so I didn't talk to fellow students.. I care for my friends and most often then not they are the ones suffering because of me.. So I started writing this in my notebook..


Wondering if the barking watchdog knows anything about the subject he is trying to teach?
I am sure he doesn't.. The vague expression on his face is much more interesting than what he is trying to explain.. [I wrote trying because he himself doesn't has any knowledge about the subject, nor he has good communication skills]..

The jumbled words he is uttering are like an exercise we did in class 5 for English grammar but even those jumbled words made more sense than what he is grumbling right now..
'OK then' and 'Yeah, definitely' are his favourite words or should I say the only words he knows how to pronounce well!! That's a topic of discussion.. I am sure most of you would agree with me..[;)] [Those who know him in flesh and bones though]..[:D]


Whatever.. Though I am sure he is as dumb as he appears.. He is conceptually so wrong that I can visualise the corpses of all the great scientists who gave these theories crumbling in their graves in much horror and disgust!! I am happy that God save them the horror of listening him teach the future engineers so many wrongs.. For him a low pass filter is similar to a high pass filter, while all these growing and learning years I knew they were functionally just the opposite.. God save the soul of the scientists who discovered these filters.. Tears must be flowing down their already dead and feeling less bodies.. [If I were the scientist, I would have walked out of my grave to kill him and rest in peace again!!]...


I don't disrespect all the teachers, [I have developed this habit of co-existence, I am so enduring now] but he is too much.. He not only lacks on the knowledge front [I am being least offensive] but also lacks etiquette... He is working in this institution and he is appointed to impart knowledge but all he does is disrespecting his job and institution.. He always speaks ill about our college, I wonder if its such a bad place, why did he apply here for a job and then work here?
Shouldn't have joined the institution if it were so bad!! Such teachers loose whatever respect we have and then try to threaten us for our internals that rest in their hands..


I think the college should have a better interview round where not only the marks but his overall personality should be evaluated before hiring them.. We don't need such teachers who neither have knowledge nor have manners..

An indifferent incident..

I am still trying to get accustomed to the number of indifferent incidents that take place in my life [though I am being subjected to one or other experience everyday]...

Today, it was a normal day till I came online in the morning.. I was talking to my friend and asked her to have a look at my blog.. Posted a link in her scrapbook.. She clicked on it, viewed my blog and we started discussing a few things.. Then I posted her a link to one of my well written posts and asked her to read it.. I waited for 30 minutes and then asked her, how was it?? I waited for her reply and waited..

On the other end she was struggling with a strange problem.. Her orkut account was temporarily suspended.. She wasn't able to leave me a scrap.. So finally she texted me, her problem to prevent me from wondering what all went wrong!!

Its funny how we sometimes conclude things on our own, no need to ask the other person's perspective.. I am too prone to make my opinions and decisions in a haste [to prevent subjecting self to the decision making problem, I guess].. Whatever be the reason I quote here, I am very appologetic when I later discover how I assumed the course of events..

But, sometimes I am not to be blamed.. I am talking about those cases in which you have either been subjected to an indifferent behaviour of a person who didn't respond to all your texts and calls.. How can you trust them later? That this time they intended to reply to all your questions? Forget questions, your texts.. Answer your call.. How can you make yourself believe that this one time it wasn't intentional, that he/she was genuinely busy enough not to reply.. I am sorry, when there is no trust and when you are responsible. don't expect me not to jump at conclusions..

Anyways, lets get back to the track.. I was talking about the temporarily disabled profile.. As she started panicing, I started asking her to run a virus scan and restart her computer and try again.. All her efforts in vein.. I then asked her to give me her log in id n password.. She texted me her id and I logged in as Yogi [btw, its her name].. I checked her settings and tried to diaganose the problem [I know what you are thinking, I have a bad reputation with the machine, yet I hoped, for once it would let me be!!]..  As I had struggled enough with the machine, I gave up..

She then gave me a call.. I started laughing the moment I heard her voice.. It was so funny to hear a tensed voice, while I felt it wasn't a big matter to worry about.. As I just laughed for the first few minutes, even she couldn't help giggling.. As she warned me of dire consequences, I was rolling in my chair.. As we laughed at the strange condition, we decided to try in the evening.. At around 8, I asked her if she tried.. She replied in an affirmative and we again.. I went online and wrote 'lolz'.. It was such a funny incident, I just couldn't control myself.. Every time the word 'BLOG' popped up in our conversation, she was a bit flustered and I was laughing.. Well, this is gonna be an incident we would laugh about for many a days to come and maybe someday when we would meet after a few years gap, we would instantly connect just at the mention of it..[:)]

It was a pleasant sight..

I went to college today after a few days break.. I told you, I go to college on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays.. Sometimes for a change on Thursdays too [Actually, we are planning to go on this Thursday, so thought of including it in the list as an exception..[;)]] So, Saturdays to Mondays are off through Sundays.. This is sometimes a bit boring because you even get bored of being at home..

For how long can you think about the past with nothing new to experience.. Its like reaching a dead end and then it becomes difficult even to remain sane.. OK, I took it a way too far, but the virtues for a novel experience are somehow blocked..

It was a damn busy day.. It was the first time since a very long time [for the record since 9th standard] that I attended all the 8 lectures in the day!!! So damn tiring.. I feel I am drained of all my energy.. Every single joint in my body is aching.. Though I have vowed never to subject self to all this again!! Dog-tired now I want to immerse self in a hot water tub.. Oh!! just the thought is bringing in so much of relief!! I think it would be just apt to take a bath after I have finished this post..

The only respite was the lawn that was drained off all the stagnated water and the grass was also cut and we did sit in the lawn for a few minutes.. It was so nice to see how the college authorities this time were sensible enough to act without some external motivational factor..[:)]

Sorry folks, I was too tired to click a few pics of the amazing lawn where we have spent many of our free lectures.. I am off to dip self in hot water now.. Will talk about some other amazing incidents later, probably on a weekend..[:)]

Climatic changes and my hypothesis.. [I am no scientist and its just my logic]

Last night as soon as I hit the bed, I had the most engrossing thought.. I love to think a lot and visualise it too. What was I thinking.. You'll roll laughing the moment you'll know the extent of my thinking and visualisation.. I was wondering about the sudden change in the climate..

Everyday in the newspaper, this concern over erratic rains and the sudden change in climate is voiced.. The prime focus of everyone, whoever wants to show he/she is important and thinkful, is the climatic changes.. The actors, socialites, fashion designers and the politicians [the finance minister and the home minister and many more] are all talking about it.. No, I am not trying to show off by talking about it.. I am seriously concerned and the extent of my thinking would make you believe, but it may sound funny to some though..

The entire scientist community across the globe is trying to understand these changes, their extent, their impact and ways to revert them.. I was reading in the newspaper that with these erratic and unpredictable rains we are in for grain shortage.. Rice is the staple food grain and we are expecting a fall in the production of the grain because of scanty rains this year.. So we are to import some millions of tonnes of rice [that's the concern of the finance minister and later ours].. The water level in all the major reservoirs is also less than 41%, which indicates a water shortage and a fall in the electricity production too in the near future.. Oh!! what a ghastly picture..

But, the recent downpour did bring in some relief.. The level of water in the reservoirs have risen to 45% and a few more days of rain can ensure good supply for the year.. The recent rains are good for the Kharif crops and would thus ensure a better production.. This year Indian mainland received 19% less rainfall and thus there is 20% decline in the overall production of Kharif crops, but the recent rains have salvaged the standing kharif crop.. The rains start receding by 1 September but these rains have not only helped the kharif crops but yet to be sown Rabi crops.. Thus, we are expecting enough of wheat now..

Too much of data for you to handle?

Well, what I was thinking last night is not these figures, of course they disturb me sometimes, but hope things will be fine.. I was analysing the climatic changes recently.. Last year the winters came in a little too late.. Then they lasted a little after Holi.. So the summers too arrived late and then the rains were late and they aren't receding [thank god! they aren't..] so soon now.. Thus I concluded that the change is just in terms of time shift and not duration shift.. Thus, I imagined myself presenting my theory in a conference covered by the global media..

My Hypothesis..

As we all know that the Earth's tilt is responsible for different seasons we have.. The equator thus doesn't experience no winters and almost daily rains.. While Antartic and Artic are just so unbearably cold.. So my theory revolves around this central concept.. I was wondering if it were to do something with the Earth's tilt..

The obliquity of the ecliptic is not a fixed quantity but changing over time in a cycle with a period of 41,000 years. It is a very slow effect known as nutation, and at the level of accuracy at which astronomers work, does need to be taken into account on a daily basis. Note that the obliquity and the precession of the equinoxes are calculated from the same theory and are thus related to each other.. [Source - Wikipedia]

Moreover it was there in the newspaper too some years ago during excavation in the ancient world Mesopotamia.. [I know I read a lot of newspaper]..

I thus made earth's tilt the culprit in my theory.. Its a quite thought of hypothesis.. So I took upon the task of finding more about my hypothesis and found this..

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17657-global-warming-could-change-earths-tilt.html

An excerpt:-

Warming oceans could cause Earth's axis to tilt in the coming century, a new study suggests. The effect was previously thought to be negligible, but researchers now say the shift will be large enough that it should be taken into account when interpreting how the Earth wobbles.

We need to conserve the environment and maybe we could slow down the process though dreaming of reverting the change is a fantasy..

By the way, congratulate me on arriving at the conclusion of the study while I was trying to sleep.. I can't be credited for it, but still I have a brain to come up with this.. [:)]

[The photos are the copyright of the respective sites]

Our latest concern...

It had rained continuously for 48 hours since Thursdays night to Saturday morning.. We went to college on Friday, i.e., yesterday after taking a break because of heavy rains.. [this is the reason we cited whenever we were asked why so many of us didn't come on Thursday.. You, though, know the truth.. We don't like going to college everyday..]


I have already written about the day and the 'torture lab' and now I am voicing Bhavu's and my concern.. We were standing on the bridge [I told you it'll feature in many of my posts], and looking at the beautiful sky, the trees, the birds and the green lawns, in short enjoying the beauty of nature, when we saw the lawn immediately below the bridge..

Paro asked us, 'why has water stagnated in this lawn, while the other lawn is free of water logging'? You might have heard the, 'why is grass greener on the other side', but our concern was 'why is it not immersed in water'?? [:D]

As we laughed about it and gave our very innovative and interesting theories [we love to use scientific explanations and logic to explain things] and then seriously discussing the landscape and the level of the land, we arrived at a satisfactory answer [we aren't always joking]... As Paro and Deepti left leaving us alone on the bridge, I and Bhavu took a closer look at the stagnated water and started discussing the ill effects of water logging..

[the original picture of the immersed grassy lawn]

Way back in class 10, we studied the ill effects of stagnation of water.. It leaches the soil, makes it more alkaline and all, making it unfit for plantation and discussed the entire chapter on soil erosion.. But then we shifted our focus from the geographic effects to the effects on our health.. We all know that stagnated water is the breeding ground for mosquitoes and many other disease vectors.. Diseases also spread in damp conditions, thus with this stagnated water, we are in for more than just the soil erosion..

[A closer look at the lawn]

Last year too, we witnessed water logging and its consequences.. There was a spurt in the insect population and it was a season of insect bites and so much problem.. The college authorities should do something about this.. I think we should give a written complain and see to it that the matter is addressed to..

Our Group..

This is our Group photograph..

Let me give a brief introduction of all..

Neha a.k.a. 'Jai', as I refer to in all my posts is the girl in pink.. A very sweet and soft spoken girl.. She can be categorised as a dreamy gal who feels everyone in this universe is good and that its a long lovely movie with all its beauty and most important a beautiful end.. A compulsive optimist, she is the hope and positive vibe generator in the group.. She gets afraid whenever there is a slight disagreement.. She wants everything to be good and beautiful.. She is overtly sensitive and imaginative.. You tell a story and she'll visualise..
Her unique characteristic - She is the child in the group, pampered and protected..

Next is me..

Neeti a.k.a. 'Nikki'.. You know me through my various posts..

Neha a.k.a. 'Shona', is the one standing behind in the group.. She is the tallest and the strongest of all [ I meant physically]..[:D].. Sometimes too intelligent and sometimes too foolish..[ you know how she sometimes makes me mad].. She takes care of me.. She is the one attentive in class, taking down everything on the blackboard while I laze and chat.. She takes care of my roll call too.. In short, she is my senses inside the classroom..[:D]
The rest you know through my posts.. [:)]

Bhavika a.k.a. 'Bhavu'.. She is the reality check of the group.. While I and Jai are too imaginative and too lost in our dream world, she shakes us back to reality.. Understanding and cunning, she guides us and sometimes advices us.. The only thing is that she is sometimes too pessimistic.. She would look at the things that can go wrong, sometimes missing the fun of it all.. Overall fun and intelligence..
In one line, the reality checker..

College Pictures...

I am uploading a few college pictures as I promised.. The college is photogenic, otherwise its a hell lot of a place to be in..

[ The college lawn ]

[ The road to the girl's hostel 1 ]

[ My Block ]

[ The Main Engineering Block ]

[ I on the famous Bridge in college that I mentioned in some of my posts.. ]

It holds great significance in our stories and would feature in many of the posts I'll write..

Another day in the torture lab...

I woke up a bit late and the entire morning was spent running around the house and then rushing in order to reach the bus stop well in time in order not to miss the bus.. Well, I am always running around the house even if I wake up at 4!! So its not an issue.. But Its fun to illustrate the morning of a rainy day.. It has been raining for more than 24 hours now.. Its still drizzling outside.. I don't like rain much but its better than that frying scorching heat.. It feels like having a glass of hot milk with the freshly out of the pan 'pakkodas'.. But you just can't take such heavy snacks everyday..[:D]

I just reached the bus stop to catch the bus in time.. As we sat on our chosen seats, we suddenly felt like clubbing and ganging up at the last seat.. It was fun talking, laughing and pulling legs.. And shouting, 'say something' every time there was silence for even a second.. It was such a funny and amazing morning.. We enjoyed the journey to college after almost an year.. But it left us asking for more.. As we crossed the border, Bims transforms into an altogether different being.. I sometimes just don't understand him.. He is so unpredictable and I hate him for his this kind of sudden transformation.. Only God knows what goes on in his mind..

In college, to the lecture..
I hate the lady that greets us in the morning on Fridays.. Today her so loud make up made me wonder if it was her!!.. She didn't look better though..[;)] Well, I entered the class and sat on my seat looking at so sparsely populated class and wondering if no one would show up.. As the lecture progressed, people started coming in and I took a sigh of relief.. I don't like a barely there strength.. Finally it was a comfortable crowd now..

The first two lectures went on without any trace of my Jai.. I wondered if she had come or not.. Well, almost immediately she and Bhavu were standing outside my class, waving to me.. It was certainly not a lonely rainy day.. Sometimes, rains just spoil the fun of being out as most like to stay indoors.. I too don't like getting all drenched either..

Went to the torture lab, I love to give all the labs a name..[:)]
One is called the danger lab [the story of the danger lab would be told some other day], the other is called the torture lab and so on.. Its the I-lab in the mechanical block.. Why I hate it so much?? Let me explain you why..

The torture lab is agonizing because of more than one reasons..

1. It is present on the 2nd floor of the mechanical block.. Those who know even a little about our college know that the mechanical block is every gal's nightmare.. It is devoid of gals with the most strange crowd!! The weirdos and nerds form the majority there..
2. The architecture of the building is also not good.. The steps are too high and its tiring to climb up to the second floor.. Muscles are strained and fatigued in just climbing up once.. I am a very active person, whoever knows me, knows how active I am, but the stairs are so damn tiring..[:(]
3. The building lacks a girl's washroom!! Its so irritating to be there.. [now you can understand point one better]..[:D]
4. The teacher is so damn irritating.. He doesn't leave us before time.. No amount of pleading or arguing helps.. You are struck in that place with a dumb man with nothing to do!!!

Its such a relief to be out of there, away from the confines of the 'torture lab'.. We didn't attend the next lecture.. [Still recovering from the harrowing experience].. It was followed by munching on biscuits, chips, chocolates and an apple.. God!! We overeat in emotionally disturbed conditions.. After the torture..

Journey back home was fun with Sonakshi.. We played loud music and danced [not literally, but it can be categorized as dance though]..[;)][:D] I got down from the bus still happy about how the day started, progressed and ended..[:)]

An account of another off...

My sister always makes fun of the fact that I go to college for a day or two and then again there is an off.. It was an unofficial off.. What should we do.. Its always difficult to go there everyday..[;)] Anyone agreeing?

Our college is open for 5 days a week, Tuesday to Saturday, but something or other makes us take an off.. I go to college on Tuesdays and Wednesdays but on Thursdays, the second batch is free and has only two lectures while we have two lectures and two labs, so ideally we should expect half the strength, but anyone hardly shows up.. To prevent self from being bored, I don't go either.. Its fun with this amazing luxury at our predisposition, but sometimes I wonder what if we carry this habit from college to our offices.. We won't have this sumptuousness in our offices, then how would the lazy us survive?? Too horrid a scene? Yeah, it is!!

I feel if I would go to college for more than two consecutive days, I'll be exhausted and too tired for anything else.. How would I adjust to the so strict office life? I wonder, but just like any other thought, it leaves my mind over unannounced and I again resort to my lazy ways and have fun..

What did I do today? Well, I chatted with my good friend Yogi on text messages and we talked about a number of things.. It was soon followed by a movie.. A comedy movie is just apt for the day.. Just for the record, I watched 'Welcome'.. It was pouring outside since last night and it was too cold for a cold susceptible person like me, so I wore socks.. Yeah, in this weather too..

It was followed by some hours on the net, then call by friends and calls to friends and cousins.. Again texts from other friends who did go to college, so what if we didn't go, it was a working day for the others.. As I got to know about their day and extended my support, I find myself again at the keyboard typing words as soon as they enter my brain.. As my sister is shouting to shut down the computer and let her sleep as she doesn't has the luxuries of such offs in a week, I try to complete the small passage and sign out..

Completed a small account of just another day in my life and I am signing off while they are still shooting words at me.. Its time for me to start the verbal attack myself.. [:D]

Catch you later...

it rained like anything...

It was a rather dull day without Jai, but her absence was somehow compensated for by the amazing weather.. There we stood on the bridge and as we clicked the pictures we somehow had been enjoying the fine weather without much thoughts.. It was a fine day.. Bhavu, had come today, the fourth of the group.. We had a great time together as we clicked pictures..


As the day progressed, it became a bit hectic and Bhavu was so occupied in her assignment that she didn't really had time to breathe the amazingly good breeze that had engulfed the rather mundane campus, which was buzzing with activity..


I spent my day with some other friends as she completed her assignment.. I still enjoyed the day.. The wind that blew my hair and made me admire my beautiful mane after so long.. I like long hair but most of the time I end chopping them to a medium length that is easy to maintain but today I again wanted to grow them long..

By the end of the day it was raining.. It was an amazing rain as we didn't get much rain this year.. I wondered if we would just yearn for a real rain then be satisfied by a drizzle.. It was great to let the breeze bring in some rain drops with it from the window as we travelled back home.. I don't like my new bus much but thanks to some new friends I have made otherwise it would have been the most horrifying experience in all these years considering the fact that most of the amazing time without best friends is spent in the bus with seniors and juniors.. Some becoming great friends by the end of the year.. [:)]

[The photos are the copyrights of the respective sites]

another college day...

It was Tuesday, the day that is off for my JAI [ those who don't know, I and my best friend Neha are called Jai and Veeru, the legendary characters from 'Sholey', the movie.. She is Jai and I am Veeru.. These names were given by a teacher to honour our amazing friendship..]
Touch wood..

But I wanted to meet her.. We haven't met for 5 days.. So I asked her if she could come on Tuesday.. She said she wasn't feeling well and can't come.. I was fine and thought its just a day.. It was morning.. I reached college, met Shona and she told me that Jai was coming.. Oh!! How happy I was.. Checked my phone.. She had texted the same message to me too.. Well, I was overwhelmed with joy, at the prospects of seeing her.. I was standing on the bridge, [will post the picture of college and the bridge that connects the administrative block to our lecture rooms] waiting for her [she is always late][:D] in that beautiful weather..

[the College building]

I then thought of taking a walk in the corridor adjacent to the class and found that a teacher, for the elective subject HR has been appointed and he is taking our class.. I immediately asked for his permission to enter and as I entered I apologised and he promptly asked me the reason and I replied it was for my late arrival.. I don't know why he looked better than other teachers and I felt like apologising..

I like management as a subject as well as a career option.. But I am not going for CAT and other entrance exams right away.. I am taking one step at a time and the obvious step is a job followed by resuming the education process and complete my MBA.. I think I'll make a great manager, my friends too feel that I'll be amazing manager to work for, to work with.. A compliment that makes me feel I am really gifted..[:)]

Anyways, the lecture was over and she had arrived.. We were happy to see each other and we were soon chatting about each day spent without being with your greatest buddy.. I didn't realise when the teacher entered my class.. I was hoping it to be a great and fun filled day with not many lectures because we didn't have teachers for 2 subjects and my hopes were dashed at the sight of two new entries to the brigade of irritating teachers..

I went to attend this lecture while Shona sat there with Jai.. I just couldn't help hating the teacher.. He was so damn irritating, so boastful, so self-centred.. In short just another moron to deal with.. I was sitting so relaxed as if I were in my room as he blared out great prepositions of self-praise.. I wondered how soon I'll find myself standing up against him.. :D
Anyways, I did mark proxy for Shona.. So she didn't loose anything, in fact gained the most.. Got the attendance and spent the hour in a friend's company.. She does return the favour..[:D]

The next we all attended and had great fun, those who don't know, I am Jai are in different classes and we don't want to be in the same class either as we have had many amazing moments just because we are in different classes.. Will tell you about them some other day.. [:)] It was fun to sit there and chat all the time.. The next lecture was of a teacher that takes her class too and would recognise that she isn't from our class and create trouble.. So, I bunked with her.. The next thing was everyone asking her why is she there in college while this is an off for her class.. She smilingly points to me.. I love the importance I have in her life, same for her... We are very important in each other's life and we are proud of it.. We love this feeling when people sometimes envy us..[:)]

The day progressed and we did spend great time together.. She won't be coming on wednesday she announced while leaving.. But it was amazing day to spend the other day without her..[:)]

My recent fixation..

I develop strange fixations, likings and obsessions time to time.. What's my latest fixation?

Well, I have fallen in love with the idea of Vampires.. Strangely I don't find them evil as they are mostly shown.. No, its not the result of watching 'Twilight'.. Neither because of the HBO TV series, 'True blood'...

I was always fascinated with Vampires.. I always fancied them.. I wanted to know how it feels to be them.. I remember watching Discovery channel's presentation on the medieval England and Vampires.. I wondered if it is true.. I still am clueless if they existed or do they still exist.. Dangerous and mystical and so intriguing.. I would search for every possible information available on the subject.. Over the years all the mythological beings have been proved to exist.. The latest I remember was the discovery of a 'Dragon'.. That mythological animal with 4 limbs, wings and that breathed fire.. They lived as recently as 16th century.. Oh my God!! I was watching the entire series on Discovery without batting an eyelid.. So mesmerised and so deeply engrossed that at one point I heard my Dad laughing at me..


It is extinct now, but I wonder if it were still breathing in some part of the world as it had adapted to live on so long after the extinction of Dinosaurs.. It can live on land, desert and in mountains, in seas and forests.. Wonder where on earth a living one pops out and breathes fire on unsuspecting people just like a sci-fi movie..[:] Godzila?? Maybe..

But recently the movie 'The Queen of the Damned' made me realise the long forgotten love for the being.. The male protagonist was so captivating.. Lestat was just the vamipre I always dreamt of.. He was mysterious, not proud of his powers, somewhat lonely, just like any other normal being, not willing to live as a creature of the dark.. Just like a normal human being, and I wonder if it were not a fiction, what would they be like? Somewhat like Lestat or the devilish types shown in other movies??


I wonder the day some scientific evidence to support the existence of Vampires would be presented in front of us and we would be discussing the various details of his anatomy.. To know how it can live to eternity.. Indefinitely.. And how exactly they die if they are immortal..

[The photos are the copyrights of the respective sites]

Why am I waiting so anxiously for the result??

I don't know why I am the only one desperately waiting for result.. All my classmates and friends aren't really eager to have a look at the results, but I am.. Everyone's parents are anxious by now, some even to the point of accusations that the result is out and they are hiding it from them.. Today, even my dad asked me about my result.. I was telling him how apprehensive even I was about it.. And how eagerly I await the DMC to analyse my performance..

I am a bit nervous this time.. Most of the time I almost know what my result is gonna be.. I am right too.. You know it, I told you I am good with my forecasts..[;)] This time I was ill, down with fever and had gone to the examination hall so unprepared and not so sure-footed.. I had just revised two units and the previous night, I was feeling so weak, even couldn't lift my arms.. As I cried in my bed after taking medicine, I saw my body temperature rising every hour and Mum asked me to relax and take a nap.. While my eyes were laden with sleep, I was crying and not able to sleep.. Finally the medicines did their part and I was sleeping..

I woke up at 7 in the morning.. Couldn't get time to revise and was shaking with fear.. I am so blank.. What am I gonna do? My body temperature was 101 and my eyes again red because of crying.. I decided not to go to college at all... Yeah, I gave up before trying.. If that's what you were thinking like my parents.. They wanted me to go.. I felt they were monsters for indicating that they wanted me to go.. Well, now I feel, it was good to take a chance, I was to reappear anyways..

I was now determined to go as I felt I won't let them recite it again and again forever, till I live that I didn't even give it a try and I was so damn idiot not to prepare for exams in advance.. How can you explain things to elders, I am clueless.. Everyone says I am good at convincing but with the matters of studies to discuss at hand, I can never convince them.. I went still feeling bitter about the whole experience.. Revised as much as I could in the journey to college.. But I was again blank as soon as I stepped into the examination hall.. I looked at the question paper.. I was dazed... Now repenting to act to satisfy my ego.. But, then I attempted the paper to my greatest capabilities and left as soon as we were allowed to leave the hall.. As I gathered myself to drag my exhausted body out of that suffocating place, my friend asked me to tell him the answer to a question.. I was angry.. I didn't know much, that is why I was out so early and he unknowingly stepped on the most aching nerve.. Then, I felt like shouting on him, but I controlled myself and left..

Cheating wasn't an option for me.. It was the hardest luck.. I and Paro love to confirm answers in the exams too, obviously in class tests we discuss them.. That day I was to sit on the last desk and Paro was on the first desk of the other row.. Too long a distance for even the Master of the art of Cheating..[;D] So, I couldn't copy even a single answer to float comfortably off the crisis.. Otherwise I would have been comfortable and confident of clearing the damn paper..[:(]

After the paper Paro expressed her sympathy for my luck and asked me to take proper rest and not worry about it.. I strongly believe in the age old saying, 'What is done is done' and move on.. I don't pester over it and depress myself by thinking over it again and again.. Forget and move on is my rule..

So, yes I am anxious to know how I fared and how hard was my luck.. How I sailed through or flunked in these testing times..[:D] Keeping my fingers and toes crossed..[;)]
Touch wood..

I was lazy or exhausted??

I slept for most time of the day yesterday.. It was such a boring day.. I tried to keep self awake but I just didn't feel like spend my day waking.. Not even reading or watching a movie.. It was just such a lazy day when you just want to drag yourself out of the bed..

It was to be an eventful day.. It was my best friend's sister's birthday yesterday and also my good friend Naveen was going back to Ireland.. Till last night I was determined to call the birthday girl and chat with for quite sometime and also see if I could meet my friend before he left.. But, the lazy me just couldn't get out of the bed!!

I was up till 12:34 the night before.. Talking to a baffled friend.. She was bewildered, unhappy, so depressed, so down cast and so lonely, I wondered if she is gonna be fine? I was trying to appease her and make her feel all better..

I wanted to wish the birthday girl at 12.. I saw the clock show 11:57, I turned to have a look at the phone.. Thought of calling her, took the phone in my hands as I smiled at the prospects of making her feel special and that I remember her birthday so well and that I was still awake just to wish her... I unlocked the keypad and the phone started ringing.. It was the confounded friend.. I answered the phone and asked her what was it? why was she calling at that time? She said, she was just trying her luck.. And since I replied, she was too glad that she took the chance.. I could clearly hear that deep voice wanted to pour over all the vexes and relieve herself of the pain.. I didn't tell her why I was awake till 12 as I didn't want to push her away by telling the real reason.. So as she poured out her heart over the phone, I lost track of the time..

The matters of heart are something that can break the hardest nut.. I hate this 'LOVE' stuff.. Its just such a short-lived happy feeling and the associated pain is so ever lasting.. Have seen people cry even after so many years have passed.. So why take on such a venture that would only bear tears, I don't understand.. Its a topic that needs more discussion, so let's not swirl over that territory.. She was nursing a broken heart.. Who broke her heart? To some extent I had a hand in it but it was for her good.. Come on, I didn't steal her boyfriend so no need to give me that look.. That guy wasn't good for her and I just told him point blank to keep off her or I'll turn into his worst nightmare.. He agreed and is keeping off her, but what to do with your friend?

You can't scare them.. I can be bad to her but I don't want to.. Its the last thing to resort to.. I won't mind being a bitter medicine if I can cure her.. But, we have decided to keep it as the last ace up our sleeves..

As I grumbled and showed my displeasure, I knew she didn't expect a rebuke.. Well, with me you get the unexpected.. I can be so unpredictable.. I am good at inflicting insults and sometimes its important to awaken the conscience of a weakened Friend.. So I knew she wasn't liking me for pinpointing all her faults and how I had to poke my nose into her matters to get things right.. Its important to bring in humour too as I feel too much of reprimanding also leads to sowing of seeds of hatred and a desire to keep off the person.. So as I spoofed the guy for his stupidity and peculiar style and cited examples from my life, we ended the talk on a happy note and I like to give people a thing to think about as I call off, I gave her a task of devising a plan to bring down my enemies.. We all have our beloved enemies who we like to despise.. I am a human to have enemies and its a right to make your enemy look and feel like a fool..[;)]

As I put down the phone to slip in my bed, I was exhausted to call the Birthday gal.. Thought of giving her an early morning call.. While the phone still vibrated to evoke me and take a look at the texts she poured over my phone to make me aware how she felt about the recent chit-chat session.. I think it was like a professional counselling session..

So I woke up the next morning a bit late and then was doing one thing or other to make up for the extra hours spent sleeping.. I wanted to call her at a relaxed time so that I could tell her the last night ordeal.. As I rushed through all the chores and tried to find a few minutes of peace, I was already feeling sleepy.. I didn't find a slacked moment and finally texted a mundane 'Happy Birthday' to prevent not texting at all.. Thought of calling and explaining later.. That later never comes though..

I was always planning to talk to Naveen before he left but now I had somehow forgotten about it.. I think we should do things whenever we remember it rather than waiting for the right moment.. The right moment is now or never.. So it would have been better if I would have called him on 5th itself rather than waiting for 6th.. So as I slept, dog-tired, I again lost track of time.. i slept for more than 4 hours.. I woke up at around 4:30.. As you know looking at the phone is the first thing I do, I saw 2 missed calls from Naveen.. Oh!! I slept and maybe he has taken the flight.. I didn't know the time of his flight either..

I thought of taking the chance and call him.. He answered it, with a slight sign bitterness and anger, he sarcastically called me the 'Busiest person to pick a call'... I explained him that I was sleeping and the phone was on silent mode.. And I wanted to talk to him before he left.. I could hear that understanding tone and was happy to know he believed me.. He said he was leaving for the Airport.. Happy to catch up with him.. I wished him a happy journey.. Asked him to contact as soon he settles back to normal life there.. He promised.. He hung up and I was happy to take chance.. I take chances, its important to take these small risks and try to tap all opportunities.. You don't loose much by taking a chance, I always take that every possible last chance not to repent it later.. Its so contenting to feel I tried when at some future point you felt bad about not having that thing.. You don't feel depressed and dejected by thinking, 'I wish I took that chance then'...

So I just did the two tasks at hand, though not to my greatest satisfaction, but we can talk and clear the air or cleared things there and then.. [:)]

[The photos are the copyright of the respective sites]

We talk a lot..

What I was wondering for quite sometime is why do guys say that girls talk a lot.. Are the guys dumb? Without connection between their brains and their tongue to channelise their thoughts and utter them as words? Or are they not sure of the way their thought process is??

Lets not get so rude here.. I am called 'Rude' by many a guys.. So lets not try to raise this issue here too.. But what I wonder is why do they categorize us as Chatterbox while they too utter the same number of words per day.. I read it in newspaper that a recent study by a London university has concluded that.. Then why are the ladies blamed for being too talkative?

Even worse, we are shown as someone you shouldn't trust with a secret to be closely guarded while studies also show that guys gossip more than gals.. Though by only a small margin, but they are the winners, so why are we put to feel we are not someone to tell a secret to?? Many a times I hear a very amazing saying.. It goes like this, if you want to spread a piece of information in no time, tell it to a woman and the entire town would know of it before the break of dawn..[:(]

What my point is that whenever I talk to a guy, they want me to do all the talking.. They hardly speak, just try to start a topic and let me take over and in the end some very cutely, naughtily and purposely say that you talk a lot, while others become too adventurous by saying - 'All this while they waited for me to shut up!!'!! [The former still have a chance but the later are to get the worse of me..[;)]] Oh my God!! I wonder and take a vow to speak less the next time I meet them and make them feel how rude of them it was to say so in the first place..[:D]

When I do as I vowed to do, they complain that I am not speaking at all and some even ask if everything is alright and am I not feeling well or is it something that is disturbing me? I don't talk to people I feel aren't receptive and we can't connect on any level.. Yes, there are people I can't go well with.. I just don't speak to them, just complete the social obligations and move on.. For others who matter I tell, its you who wanted me to speak less and they take back there words and I still cautiously talk as less as possible..

Its fun to see how guys want us to do all the talking and later make fun of the fact that we speak so much.. Well its we who make a conversation interesting so next time guys, think before you blame us for being so avid speakers..[;)]

[The photos are the copyright of the respective sites]

Am I susceptible to loosing temper??

Do I really get angry so soon and so often?

Am I susceptible to loosing temper?

Do I really scold people that often?

I am not liking the sentence.. Lets put it like this, Do I tend to explain things to people the harsh way? By being rude?

I am trying to understand the 'please don't get angry' prefix my friends adds before letting me know any of their stupidity.. Of course, I get angry when they tell me that they have done what I asked them not to do.. They are getting to see the consequences I told them they'll face if they hover in those territories.. Be it the matter of heart or the brain, I am glad I am not wrong in predicting the course of things.. The sequence of happening.. And most important the consequences..

So how am I supposed to feel to know that you hardly listen to me?? How do you feel I should have reacted on hearing you say that you not only do it but also hide it from me? I tell my friends whatever I am feeling and expect them to let me know what is on their mind, what's troubling them, what is it that keeping them so lost and so deeply in thought?

I like Neha for being just like me.. She can't imagine not letting me know anything, but for others, I wonder why they let me know after so long? Or even worse, talk to me about it and agree to do whatever I say and then out of nowhere announce that they did exactly the opposite and now are in a fix.. First they do it then expect me to be cool about it.. I feel so exasperated.. And If I try to be cool, they feel I am so mad at them that I have resorted to cold treatment!!

Wondering, if just like 'be honest' is it just another word with no sense and used to catch attention? With no particular meaning? Most of the time I hear it from the girls.. Thank God, guys spare me the horror... Wonder if they really want to say it too?? It is a question woth asking, but most guys too fear my temper... Maybe they skip it intentionally to avoid the nasty fight that would follow..

Whatever be the reason I just thank them for keeping off the words.. They do give in hints that they expected me to get angry and that in their heart they hoped I won't get mad this time.. But I think I love to prove people wrong..[;)]

Anyways, many a times I get calls and text as late as 1 am in the morning.. Most of the time I don't cater to these random and untimely calls as I hit the bed quite early [maximum by 11].. But many a times, when I am still wide awake, I pick up such random calls.. Talk to them and try to console them and make them things in a different light.. As I pacify the restless child in them, I wonder if they really understood my point or was it just some one's voice they were hoping to hear, doesn't make much of a difference what they spoke? Well, considering what I want, I feel its just the feeling that someone is listening.. I don't want people to tell me what to do, so I tell them straight that I don't want solutions to problems.. But if its a mess, I do what they [the people I called] tell me to.. Is it too much to ask if I want them to do same?

I think I want people to match up to my expectations.. But am I the only one to expect? Don't they expect things out of me? Don't they want me to act and do things in a certain way? Talk and reply in a certain fashion? Why am I made to feel I expect a lot? Many of my friends say that after my bawling out, they see things in a clearer way.. That this scolding made them change their point of view, empowering me with a tool to change perspectives.. Almost all of them are happy and enlightened after that sparky and heated lecture I give.. Do I too learn anything? Hell yeah, I do.. I learn to remember not to get angry next time that I so proudly overlook.. [;)]