Three amazing truths:

Three amazing truths:

1.       The best way to feel less irritated is to love self a little more.

2.       The best way to irritate a hater is again to love self a little more.

3.       The best way to be happy is again to love self a little more.

I had realized both these truths as early as class 10^th. And today I was in need of a little more love because of a little irritation.

How to love self a little more?

Well, it is easy. These simple points would make you less irritated/happy as well as make your hater die in self pity.

1.       Take a little more time in shower. Take a bath as if you have all the time in the world. Few more minutes in the shower would result in a better scrub and thus a more glowing skin.

2.       Take time to moisturize your skin.

3.       Wear a new outfit. If you don’t have anything new, don’t fret. You can always wear that old dress with a twist. Mix and match. Wear it in a new way n dazzle.

4.       Go out and shop/window shop. Looking at all the awesome things that make you look prettier make you happy. [Though it might not work directly on haters. But your happy face is enough to fuck their day. LOLz]

I was a little irritated with a lot of people in my office.  I didn’t even feel like waking up for office. I looked at myself in the mirror and decided to fight back.

So I got up. Went through steps 1 to step 3 [though I had a few new dresses, I still opted to wear an old one with a twist]. I was looking good by the time I was ready to go to the battle field [metamorphically speaking, obviously..: P]

I mean come on who are we kidding. A place full of people who don’t really approve of you is nothing less than a battle zone.

Anyways, wore a frock styled kurti without the churidar. Added a shrug to complete the look of a dress. Did it work for me? Not really sure. But a few friends said nice. And a few frenimies raised eyebrows.

Mission Accomplished..!! : P

Funny as well as Irritating Reasons..!!

I am unable to understand why people come up with stupid reasons to avoid telling the truth. Time and again we all come across people who give unrealistic answers to avoid telling the truth. These logic defying awesome answers are a product of dumb brains that have limited imagination and even lesser logical thinking and reasoning abilities.

I think this irritating habit can be exploited in designing a test that would actually check ‘How dumb you are’? I think this is an idea worth patenting. I think if anyone seriously does some research on this topic then they can easily come up with a small questionnaire that could be used by employers to judge the presence of mind as well as reasoning ability along with the ability to come up with feasible and thought over solutions to real life problems.

I would like to thank all the irritating people coming up with dumb reasons for instilling this thought in my mind as well as acting as a vast source of research for the tedious process [sitting through the crap being said requires patience as well as strength] and helping me come up with this theory which I intend to build my personality and capability measuring tests. [This is my original idea and anyone can use it to explain their point but they should give me credit for developing the concept..: P]

Let me try to jot down some of the random but really amusing replies you get from people.

Why didn’t you come with us yesterday to the mall/trip/outing? [Home/Friend scenario]

1.       I was ill.

2.       I had very important work at home.

3.       I had already promised to meet someone the same day.

Despite the fact they didn’t mention it the day before while you were planning but suddenly on the day you are supposed to go out/meet, they become ill/remember prior meeting promises they made/get urgent work..!!

Why didn’t you come yesterday? [Office scenario]

1.       I was ill.

2.       My mother/father/wife/son/daughter/dog was ill. Had to take him/her to the doctor.

The real reason ranges from was didn’t feel like coming to just lazy to mad at you/team/co-worker.

Girl/Boy: What happened?

Girl:

1.       Nothing.

2.       Just have a headache/bored/not feeling well/ not liking anything.

Real reason is a lot of emotional drama/trauma stuffs.

I don’t need it anymore. You can take it for free/[a very small amount].  [Refusing later]

1.       Actually my sibling/cousin needs it.

2.       Other friend/cousin asked for it before you.

3.       I broke it. It’s useless now.

While the real reason is “I Don’t Want to Give IT to You on that Price”. And just because I’ll lose face in front of you/ you would fight with me for making you give up on another deal because of my offer.

Day 1 without a Room mate

I didn't like living in the same house with my ex-flatmate but living alone is also a pain..!!

I don't want to get into what I didn't like about her, I'll just try to track what I didn't like about Day 1 and Day 2 in a home that was recently vacated.

1. When your flatmate vacates your home, some of the furniture and electronics stuff leaves your house. The emptiness of the house after they leave is directly proportional to the number of years they have spent in the city.

2. Returning to an empty home, [read as without any other form of mammalian life form] is really disheartening and depressing.

3. No source of entertainment and no one physically present to hear your woes. [though she was really a companion]

4. You don't feel like eating alone. Seriously, there is something about eating alone that is depressing.


The underlining word in all the above sentences is 'Lonliness'. It feels so bad to be alone.

Am I alone in this 'Lonliness'woes or do I have company here? [:-|]

The Week it was...!!

Another week has passed in the city and now as the date of flying back home is approaching, I am getting those dreams where you either couldn't make it to the airport in time or when you crash, though nothing happens to anyone, or maybe you don't know what happened to all of you because you woke up before that part..!! but whatever the case is, these are just anxious dreams I am getting.

The week it was.
It was a great week. Marked with crazy fun. We had a cultural program and I danced on the stage for the first time. Yes, no matter how much blabbering I do, I am not exactly "On the Stage" person, so it was naive of me. The dance was fine, we weren't really well co-ordinated beacuse
1. ours was a big group.
2. we didn't get to practice much with the entire group

So we weren't really selected for the finals as we weren't really co-ordinated group and I was a little more cautious as the end of the lower was slipping underneath my foot. [:-(]
But still we had a real good time. We all enjoyed the dancing together part. the practicing part, the impromptu bhangra we would break into. It was all fun and no worries at all.

I later joined the classes for the "Art of Living". It was an awesome first day. I was the chirpiest of the entire group. We were told a few rules in the beginning of the course and I thought I could abide by them just to discover the very next day that I broke few too many.

Later in the week, the very next day after the first "Art of Living" class, we had the finals and we got back on the stage, not for the dance obviously but in the saree special fashion show. I got a call the previous night to come with a saree. I told them neither I have one, nor I know how to wear one. But the girl on the other side of the phone, my team mate was positive and I agreed.

Getting dressed was a little funny, i think my walk was fine but since I didn't have anything of my size, I knid of ended up looking plain Jane and a little funny. But it was fine I guess. You need to make a little fool of yourself once in a while to feel imperfect and capable of improvement.

The rules I broke.
well, we were supposed to come to each and every class, not drink carbonated drinks and do the Pranayams taught to us. It was a great experience in the class and I could easily see myself completing the course as I am not really an addict of carbonated drinks and I thought I can attend all the classes easily. But with this Fashion show coming unannounced and I stupidly committing to look stupid, ditched the class for the show. [:-(]
But we all are faced with choices and we all make some decisions that we might regret and so did I. I decided to stick to my words and do the show than running away to my classes.

The Punishment.
I'll have to repeat  the course as I have failed o keep promises to myself though I kept the promises I made to people. I need to feel more responsible for self than the world around. Probbly I would be completing the course soon. I also missed the opportunity of going out to the Ashram with my friends who might be enjoying the serene environment as I write this piece. To rub salt to wounds, the weather is awesome today.

The Way I Enjoyed.
well all this regret doesn't mean I didn't have fun at all. I went shopping with a friend who is going away to the States for quite sometime. I am not really hoping to see him for atleast another year now.
We went around Bangalore driving in his car without exactly knowing our way around the city and pretty much reached MG Road without much help and taking turn on pure Instincts. I have realised one thing, I do listen to my gut feeling way too often..!! [:P]
But it seems to set me on the right path. Guess, no one's complaining.

Some Pictures Defining the Week It was!!

The Sizzling Infectors.. :P

Striking a Pose.. :D

The Shoes we got..!!

The Jacket I got.. :P

[Photo taken from the US POLO ASSN site..]

Another weekend in the City..!!

It is Sunday morning and I am still in the Saturday morning mode, the morning after a sleepless Friday night. I think Katy Perry has got the runaway hit by singing about the Friday night frenzy and chaos because everyone could relate to it. Though I don’t smell like a mini-bar on any Friday... [: P]

Finally talking about this week and the weekend, I had fun watching Rockstar. It’s a movie where Ranbir is the crowd puller not for his looks but for his acting. I think he could emote well and I could really feel a connect he had with the audiences. But the best moment was when people whistled like crazy when the trailer of Don 2 was played..!! Oh man it was just awesome being there... People really like Don and Shahrukh Khan looks like the real mean thing and man, he is sexy... [;-)]

I have the list of movies I want to see know... all lined up one after the other. I want to see dirty picture, Don 2 and Agneepath..!! All the three look awesome from the promos... I wanted to see Rockstar ever since the first theatrical was released. I thought it would be an awesome and sentimental movie provided Ranbir emotes well... and he did do justice to the movie. He played the character to the kilt..!!

The songs added soul to the movie. The pain is something anyone who has loved and lost can connect to. It makes you numb and you also give your lost love a thought. It makes you wonder if you can love like Jordan? It makes you wonder if men are really capable of love like as portrayed by him... I wonder if we humans really can experience such strong emotions in this age of short time love which hardly lasts a few months.

It also conveys a really funny message too. My friend saw the movie on Friday and I was going on Saturday, so I asked for his reviews, though I had the tickets, but I just hoped to know what to expect. He said it made him loose faith in the institution of marriage. The girl keeps fucking around with her guy friend, though not he can’t be termed fuck-buddy, but she doesn’t love him as such but just likes getting in between the sheets with him. She wants to be with her husband with occasional sex with the famous Rockstar. The husband and the Rockstar are guys used by this woman Heer. To help her save face, she is shown ill, as if being ill gives you the license to screw your marriage and sleep with some other guy.

Well this was the hilarious and funny thing, but I guess human emotions are strange and we really can’t understand them all... But I still feel she could have told the husband about not being happy in the marriage and then get a divorce and then sleep with whomever she wanted to sleep with. Then you wouldn’t have needed “Oh the poor sick girl” thing to justify her infidelity and sleeping around.

Overall Ranbir’s acting was the only plus in the movie with a crippled script and a fake girl trying to believe she is a  star with her pout..!!

Struggles of a dislocated Delhite..!!

Ever since moving into Bangalore, all I hit are road blocks, all I get are newer challenges. First it was finding a place to stay, followed by the struggle to find a flat to move into to finding the right companion to share the apartment with..!! If all this wasn’t enough, I had to get all the connections like gas, Internet and cable and list seems like growing with each passing day!!

I found a companion, a rather cool companion in Peony. We soon found a flat to stay in as well. She had a gas connection already in her name. I guess all these things that came free with her were the real things that made me happier ever since I moved into the flat..!! [:P] okkk.. I guess it was a little mean and selfish, but it was really the cherry on the cake... [;)]

We restored the cable connection people staying before us had. So it seemed going would get easier now. But the only connection that was to be set up from scratch, internet, really turned out to be the real painful experience in our lives.

We tried to restore the Airtel Internet connection she had. We felt just giving the reinstallation charges for the new address would end our plight. I have noticed one thing here; Customer care sucks in Airtel... I even feel tempted to generalise it for Bangalore as a whole though... [: P]

The connection was somehow restored after thousands of calls, threatening to drop bomb at their office by peony and the almost forceful detention of the workers coming to reinstall connection at the new address we have now.

 I wonder if we could have been arrested that night for detaining those workers. Had they logged a complaint with the local police, we might have ended in jail. We might have escaped the fate as Peo has an influential uncle. But still the thought amuses me, in jail for harassing and detaining the Airtel field workers..!! Wowwww this feels like some real psycho perverts or crazy women harassing 2 men in those lands where women feel vulnerable all the time. We could have been reorganised for our act of defiance by some NGO or women’s organisation for making women feel real powerful. All this is still hypothetical as nothing went like the way it shaped in my head..!! [:P]

The internet connection was however not stable and the laptops would disconnect from the net way too often. After many unsuccessful attempts to get someone from Airtel to resolve the issue, we decided to end our association with Airtel. Though I still wonder if no one showing any interest in coming over to have a look at the real cause of the problem we faced had anything to do with the incident of Peo forcibly holding the workers to complete all tasks before they call it EOD. Probably no one wanted to be detained in our house... [:?]

We then took internet connection from a local company named Hathway. It was a 5 MBPS unlimited plan but nothing about this plan was so called unlimited... How? Well simply because we had limits. [Have already written over this, though in a very different tone] Again after numerous unattended calls to their customer care centre, I wrote a mail to the customer support to get some explanation around the 128kbps speed we had to deal with though we took a 5Mbps plan [some real shit policy at work]. The customer care executive just knew one line, no matter what you asked him, he just retorted “company policy”... I wonder if he would say “company policy” even if we asked him the reason for being such a dumb ass...

Anyways, we were back to where we started from, no internet connection despite trying our level best to get a plan that suits our needs. I miss Delhi for the competitive nature of any service. I loved the “Customer is God” and “too good to believe” offers that were the notion of life in Delhi. But Bangalore makes “Gods feel like Beggars”..!! Here God has to take up whatever is being thrown to him… Oh! Delhi made you feel so powerful and even the middle class felt a little more valued there... I am so much more in love with Delhi now..!!

Well like a lost puppy who just got the scent of his master, we went running back to Airtel. The old connection that was disconnected was restored after a “Fuck you” and “you people don’t care” by my famous Peo. While restoring the connection we came to know the reason for the problems we were facing with Airtel in our first innings. The modem was faulty. I wish if someone came and checked it then when we were raising tickets for it, we might have saved going through the Hathway pain..!!! [L]

Anyways, what’s done is done.. We still have some concerns which are yet to be addressed. Our plan is still in the test phase and I wonder if this plan can serve us best. The previous plan she had isn’t available anymore and we are still left with wondering about the unlimited plans with thousands of limits.. These lies, these marketing strategies, I am tired of them all.. All I need is a good internet speed and a reasonable download spectrum..!!

Team outing..

It was a happy Friday after putting in lots of effort throughout the week to meet deadlines and finish work. It even more happy Friday because it was a team outing day, a day when we all go out and just have fun together and bond well with each other. It not only gave opportunities to know your own team mates, but also an opportunity to interact with other teams working and coordinating on various aspects of the products.

I had put the alarm of 5:30, I also went to bed early, the alarm also went out in time, but it’s too difficult to get up so early in the morning when your body still feels a little tired. I snoozed the alarm till 6 and soon fell asleep. The alarm went off again and I dragged myself out of the bed though 80% of me wanted to still lie and sleep while 20%of me knew that it’s time to get up, bathe n get ready.

So I got up, letting the 20% win against democratic voting laws. I brushed my teeth, put on music to open my eyes and heat the milk and prepare the corn flakes breakfast. I thought of taking a quick bath, but as always took a little more than expected and came out running while my sweet colleague waited patiently for me to show up. I got dressed in a hurry and ran to the bus stop where she was waiting for me in an auto. We went to the office and then, boarded the bus to our destination.

The journey to the destination, a golf resort was nice and fun. It involved a little of singing and enacting film’s names. We finally reached the destination and a quick breakfast was followed by a tug of war. But it was too sunny for an outdoor games event. I was sweating like a goat. I tried to find a properly air-conditioned corner in the resort but I guess it was put down because of the maintenance work there. I tried to take up some sport but couldn’t find company. I am not really too good at sports, especially the indoor ones. I wanted to play badminton but since I had no partner, I had no choice. I could have just hanged at the court and asked ever few minutes if I can play, but that’s not really me. I feel too awkward doing it. I am not really an introvert, but I feel people aren’t really cool with a bugger, so I chose not to intervene. The players on the badminton court were known to me, but most of the time, they try to corner me out for not being a good player. They’ll all want to play with a pro and not a naive like me. Sometimes I feel bad, because I never do it anyone, and I understand the basic logic that everything takes a little time to come to you. You can pick up a sport, maybe slower than others, but if you try, you can. Bored and sweaty, I started looking for a place to sit.  After actually lying at the reception area for close to half an hour, I got company of a few bored guys like me. They hanged out with me for like 10 minutes and thought of going to the play area. I decided to follow suit.

I finally went to the playing area where my team mates were playing this indoor version of football with a ball and 11 plastic players controlled by a set of 4 bars for each team. It’s a game for 4 and one of my sweet team mate called me to play the game with them. We played it, then went on to play air hockey and then went on to play squash till some wanted to just get rid of me and play. I find it a mean behaviour, so what if I don’t know much about how to play the game, but I want to try my hands and maybe pick it up. Squash is a game I really like but never really got an opportunity to play and I just didn’t like their attitude of telling me that since I don’t know how to play, I should get moving. You could have played it all this while or after I am done. But this time I refused to buzz off and continued playing. By the end of something like 40 minutes, I was able to pick a few basics of the game and came out wanting to take up the game, I didn’t want to let go of the experience just because some people thought I didn’t had the right to play because I don’t know how to play.

Anyways, we left for lunch. I met these two girls at lunch who were sweet and we instantly became kind of friends because we hit the right chords. She is a pretty, but she didn’t have those airs about self. We gelled well and then pretty much hung out together. We went for a bike ride around the entire resort. It was fun cycling on those up-hill and down-hill roads. I was seriously having fun in her company. We cycled almost like 5 kms, we almost got lost and we had a  real nervous moment when we realised the lovely mountaineering bikes don’t have a bell, so we were shouting at each merger with a main road to warn someone that we were coming. :D

It was a real fun and exhausting activity. It was more like a friendly thing than I had with my team. In my team, I like 5 people a lot. Rest are fine and a few I don’t really like, but no hatred here. I just guess they don’t really approve of me and kind of treat me as an outsider. I want to feel like a part now, no more of being treated like a foreign material deserving allergic reactions. L

We went back in bus and i didn't get a seat with my team mates. The new friend I made asked me to join their group where they were also playing the enacting the name of a film game, but in a smaller group. It was pretty dull in the beginning, but then we picked it up like anything. In the beginning we gave easy movies from Bollywood to opponent team who weren’t really Hindi speaking, but the enthusiasm they had, the passion they had for the game was awesome. They would relate the Hindi word to some local language word or English word and enact. It was such a good feeling see cultures mix. But as we moved more into the Hollywood movies, it became a fast paced and fun. It ended up being more fun than the big group playing it back there and we bonded much better than the big group. A genuine good byes when people got down was a pleasant sight. I also got lots of love from all of them as I leaved the bus for home. I wish I got this warmth from my team as well. But I guess the purpose for going to the resort was solved by picking a little of squash and making a little more good friends who genuinely like you and don’t care about your drawbacks as you really can’t be a master at everything. You suck at a few.. some more than others. :P

Wrap up 2 - Ditched and lessons learnt.. Too many lessons, too soon..

As you know by now, I took up the HCL job and joined it in December. I was really happy to see an old college mate there. She had the consecutive roll number to mine in college. Seeing some known face in a crowd of strangers gives a strange reassurance that you aren’t alone in this phase of life where a number of things are changing. She knew a few more people there and before I could realise I was a part of a group, having fun and hanging out. The one month of induction was all about a hell lot of fun.

After December induction training was over, we were assigned to different domains. I and that girl got the domain no one wanted. Well that is when I saw favouritism playing an important role in corporate world. I think I learned the lesson way too sooner than thought. [I was taking movies as the reference point here] Well finally there I was in a domain that no one wanted to work in, though it turned out to be a fine field to work in later. But that was when I realised, friendship and staying together was all meaningless in this world of competition where everyone wants to be on the top, where everyone was way too keen to climb up the ladder of corporate world. She was trying to get her domain changed to security and didn’t even tell me. Was it the fear of me also wanting the same and acting like a competition for the so called single vacancy in security domain? I still can’t figure it out, if you want it and you are trying for it, then why hide it from a friend? Well what really hurt me wasn’t her wanting something she thought was better for self but it was the fact that she went to talk to the HR and when I asked her where she was going, she lied to me. She lied again when she got the call from HR to tell her that her request has been approved and she has to join the other office the very next day, I was with her during her conversation with the HR but she didn’t tell me. Come on now, I can’t take it away from you now. You have already got it.

The next day I went to office and people were asking me where she was and I was lying to save her. Then one guy laughed at me and said, she is in security domain now, working in other office, we know you are lying to save a friend, but your friend ditched you. I was hurt and I was angry. I wanted to prove the guy wrong and tell him that I know my friends, so I called her up. I asked her if she was in other office to join the security domain. She said a ‘yes’.. I was shocked and hurt and felt deceived. She asked me how did I know about it? I told her people told me and I know you got the call last night when I was with you. I even asked you why HR was calling you but you didn’t tell me. She still lied telling me she just came to know this morning, but still it is no excuse for not telling me first hand. She just accepted it when I called her to ask, probably because she couldn’t lie now.

Anyways, I moved on and it’s needless to say we aren’t really friends now.

But I did learn the valuable lesson that it is difficult to find friends in workplace where environments are really hostile and people think that they can move up only by displacing and out running others. But I feel there is enough space at the top as well and that it isn’t really a pyramid, but a tree that has many spots at the top.

I also learned that this crazy ambition to be the lone occupant of the top slot even alienates friends..!!

cooking for self and flatmate

Living alone is both a blessing as well as a pain. The fun part is you get to make your own decisions, you can come and go as and when you feel like and the new found independence gives you a lot of privacy to discover self, your weaknesses stare you in the face and you overcome them with your existing strengths or you develop a mechanism to grow some solution and backup for these problems. You also learn to manage budgets and become money-wise.

Well I guess I am running out of pluses right now, but right now I can easily count the negatives of living alone. The budget always acts as a constrain, I keep wondering where did all the money go every time I see my balance. This isn’t the only problem. You have to feed yourself and even a maid or cook can’t really help as your dependency on them makes you feel crippled if they don’t show up even for a single day and you also end up cursing them, which is again a bad habit to pick.

Generally my flatmate takes care of cooking, but she is out again and today too, I am going to cook. I am getting a little more confident with cooking now. After cooking I’ll catch up ‘Final Destination’ on television. J

Daily Journal

Just wasn't feeling like going to office today. It’s not like I don't like going to office but I was so deeply engrossed in the movie that I didn’t want to miss it for anything in the world. Ok, I agree I am exaggerating, but I really wanted to see it to the end. So there I was waiting in breaks and looking at the watch and completely forgetting about it during the time it was on.. :P

I even thought of calling in sick, but then felt it wasn’t really worth it. What the hell would I do the rest of the day..!! On a serious note it was more a feeling of not doing anything towards the final goals in your life. I am more of a restless and hyperactive person and doing nothing kind of freaks me out. The call in sick was just a momentary thing.. :P

Anyways, so I finally watched the movie and went to office. I reached the office, started with the day’s jobs and then this guy walked up to me and told me the blunder I have done.. I know you aren’t getting what I am saying, so let’s go back in flashback.

Back to October 7, 2011 [you thought it was long way back in past, didn’t you.. :P], I got a cubicle, my own place in the office. I didn’t have any permanent my seat till that day, so it was a great deal of thing. This seat was occupied by someone else before me, so it still had a few machines and stuffs lying around. I asked if I could get rid of all those machines and set up my systems there. I got the nod and got to work. Set up my new desk. Get all the accesses and working from it, though, some of the things are still pending, but all was so good and new. I like the seat as well, it is nice and has a little privacy as well, so it’s cool.. ;)

Back to present, he is a little angry because, it was his machines and he needed them to be running. I took permission, but then, none of us was aware of the importance of the machines. But, what’s done is done and I can’t take it back. I can’t take away the pain of setting it up again and running the processes. Learnt an important lesson, never unplug any machine that is running before you got into that spot.

Rest of the day was more like a hyper active day and I was just dancing to my favorite songs all through the day. It feels good to keep dancing and not worrying at all about anything. I know one thing for sure, I like working here. And I love the way I can sing a song out loud, though some people make the “sush” voice, but I guess it’s alright as long as I don’t sing out loud, I can dance and keep working. No one really bothers as long as you are working. J

Some of the works are still pending for me to resume working normally but I guess they’ll be done soon and I would be back on my feet sooner than I thought. ;)

[I just got the confirmation for the approval of the little issues I had and I can work effectively now] J

A little wrap up....

I haven't written for a while, but that doesn't mean I wasn't really feeling anything or not getting any new experiences.. In the past year, I have graduated from my engineering college and have switched two jobs and moved away from Delhi to Bangalore..!!

Yeah, I also know that two jobs in less than an year is way too much. But I guess being in the wrong place is worse.. I was more than too stressed in the last few months of engineering.. Had lots of hatred for lots of people.. Lost the "so called friends" to be left with only "Real friends". I was apprehensive about finding a job, fretting about the future, wondering if pursuing a MBA was a better choice than my choice of getting a job right now.. [I know I get way too many decision time cramps, but I guess it isn't that uncommon for the rest of the people]..

Recalling it all, I wonder at the anxiety levels I had, though I always pretend to be way too cool to worry.. But then the truth is I was nervous and anxious, [I know, I have grown up in terms of taking responsibility for my actions and choices] and I can admit it now, thanks to the new found confidence.
[Yeah, I guess I was a little on the side of being over confident with strong undertones of being ignorant]. I gave my first interview in February. It was a joint campus recruitment process [and the only one in which my college would participate], I was kind of over confident and too rigid and tough. I cleared the written exam [ I know lot of people there couldn't believe I made it to the list]. I don't think people thought I wasn't intelligent, but people do thought I wasn't serious enough to care to prepare. The truth is, I really didn't prepare. It was an easy paper and not having the pressure to perform maybe made me come out a winner, after all it was just easy elementary maths..

Anyways, I always knew that campus recruitment is the easy way to job market. It generally doesn't have a rigorous technical round and the number of aspiring candidates are from the same background, people whose capabilities you are aware of and the best part, the college name doesn't matter as you all belong to the same level, no one is from a better college.
It was an Infosys drive, I was called for interview, but I guess my honesty killed me there. I was giving my biased answers, my thoughts rather than the well knows "Yes Sirs" and the familiar nodding in with the interviewer even if you have a different stand on the subject. I still don't consider changing any of it. [ You may say, its because I have a good job now, but trust me, I didn't regret doing any of it then as well].. It was more than an year back and I still remember all the answers I said to his questions. He wanted to know if I would take decisions [Yeah, my most dreaded area, an area I generally don't like to explore in anxiety].. I can't explain without quoting the question.
He had asked me a situational question-"you are in Delhi, your parents are there in Jaipur and want you to come there as soon as possible. How would you proceed? What would you do?"
The obvious and interview time answer would be, "I would catch the first plane to Jaipur and go.." How convenient. If asked to elaborate, you would tell you would inquire about the available flight and if nothing is available for the next 6 hours [which is approx. the time taken by car/bus to reach Jaipur], you would take the bus or train.. [Trying to show that you weighed the options].. If I knew the answers, then why didn't I say so? You can call it my habit of doing thing my way or being adamant, but the thing is the answer I wrote above isn't the way I think or approach things. If I said so, got selected, I guess he didn't hire me, but someone who would give the popular google answers. [Yes, I also turn to google for answers and over the last year I have realised the Google potential to influence learning, but sometimes the answer should come from you, the solutions to problems are based on situations and something that was a hit for others might not be a hit for you.] So I still feel that people who want to hear google answers should in fact hire google.
What answer did I give? Well I said.. I'll call my parents to know "Why they want me there in the first place?" I am no movie star to just run to catch a plane. I would then weigh my options, both in terms of finances and time spans and then decide my mode of commuting between the places. And he thought I was indecisive and didn't hire me. No problem, he got people who won't think twice, would just run to any random place catching flights for even the minutest of issues that can be resolved on phone, saving time and money.  I don't hold grudges, but still not being hired because of a lame reason like this felt bad. I was upset and even considered saying the answers that would please the ears of people, the answers I call 'Google answers'. But, I decided against it. [See I can very well take decisions..lolz]

Anyways, the next chance for interview came much later in August. It was for HCL Technologies. It was through an online exam conducted via some organisation AMCAT. I cleared the written and then went for the interview. It was long queue and lots of wait later, I finally got in.. I hate such interviews where you are competing with people from all over India. [The elite colleges aren't there but then there are thousands of others from colleges like you and the scary part is you can't guess there potential to boost self].. Anyways, we went in for the technical group discussion. Yeah, and that too in a computers subject, which you didn't read, [I was an electronics and communication student] so it was a disaster though I tried correlating stuffs.. But I guess it was bound to happen, I wasn't shortlisted.

Then came my next chance in September. I was called for interview at Ericsson's. It was a dream to work there for all the ECE students. I was happy. The mail didn't detail the fact that interview would be conducted the same day as written and thus I went in casuals without my mark sheets.. There I wrote the exam again, cleared it again with great score and there I was 2nd in line for the interview. The interview was more than 30 minutes long for the first girl and people were staring at me as I was the only one in casuals and about to go in for interview. I was getting nervous now. I wasn't properly dressed for the interview and I wasn't carrying my mark sheets. The first girl came out, said the guy is too strict. I was even more nervous now. I somehow went in After the initial greetings my interview started. It was a going good technically but my body language was a little too nervous and I was lacking confidence. It was a stress interview and I had my break down. I cried. Interview ended after I answered the question right. The HR was announcing the results and then asking people to either leave or sign the documents stating they were hired. He announced my name and asked me to wait as he wanted to talk to me. He asked about the interview and then he asked me if everything was fine and if I had some family problems for having a break down. I didn't lie. I could have, but I felt it wasn't necessary. He then gave me a very valuable feedback, something that would change the way I would appear in any interview there after.. He told me that I was too good, too technically sound and I should have been confident, not worrying about not being in formals or not carrying my mark sheets.. Sometimes the greatest opportunities walk your way when you are least prepared, so always keep your calm and have faith in your knowledge. He asked me if I were him, would I hire self? I could have said the "Pursuit of happiness" kind of answer, but I nodded a NO. Its the truth, I wouldn't have hired that version of me, probably a positive reaction from my side would have helped me get hired, but I guess I wasn't still prepared. Then he also said, you were good, but you can't handle too much of pressure I guess and wished me luck for the future. He didn't hire me, but I don't think he was wrong, as he wasn't really expecting the known answers but wanted me to show I learnt the lesson.

Well, it was November and I was still jobless and directionless.. I then got another call from HCL. This time it was for the Infosystems branch rather than technologies. I went there wearing a casual shirt over jeans. I cleared round one than two and then round three was technical. I was a little freaked but then talking to a fellow interview candidate made me calmer and I rocked the interview. I then cleared the HR round and I was finally hired in November and the joining was in December.

So many things change within a blink of an eye and you never know what the next thing in life would be, but sometimes these things mean a lot more than plain words that you love to bring up in conversations when someone asks about what you have thought about your future..!!

I hate the 'What next question' more than anything in this world..!! What next, can never be planned and all my plans and expectations are panned within a blink of an eye, so what I fear more than the thing that would happen next is the thought of trying to think and make up a plan for the glorious 'what next' questions..!!!

One day you want something and the very next day you repent what you just wished for.. In this manner even wishing is turning to be too difficult for me..!!! Ohhh, How I wished to get back home and now how I wish to go away again.. How I wished to work and than how I wished not to work..

Well, I did land myself a job but I did also land myself a lot of problems that I didn't see.. I am yet to join and I am excited but I am a bit tensed too because of these recent developments.. I wonder why can't we have a few things easy in life and why is every easy thing comes with a lot of hidden potential terror invoking little things that grow up to be monstrous and that tend to gulp down their throat the little happiness the easy thing brought..

While I try to figure out things and devise a plan, [which I also know is futile], but then the only thing each of us tries to gain after a storm is stability and the previous state.. While I look around to find that little thing that makes me forget it all, I wonder when I would have something that would make me want to write again..!!!

[ I even forget my password by the time I think of just writing it and letting it out... :P]

Delhi Rains and the threat of flood..

Its raining cats and dogs here in Delhi for almost a month now.. As the news of Yamuna approaching the danger sign of 204.83 meters started doing the rounds, I found my parents glued to the news channel following every centimeter rise in its level.. As you might have concluded by now, I want to clarify, No, I don't stay close to the banks to justify this sudden urge to check the water level every few minutes.. It sometimes was at a as small interval as 15 minutes..!!

As I found myself struggling to change the channel, I wondered why was it so important to them.. Then came the news of water level over and above the danger sign.. The news channel declaring how water has been gushing towards Delhi from the Hathnikund barricade and how it would reach Delhi by Tuesday morning.. Ooohhh.. It was suddenly all everyone talked about.. Even my friend who keeps a regular tab on all the latests happenings in the world talked about it, making it seem like the most important thing to discuss.. Like one of those hot topics that you discuss just to show off that you are an aware an informed person..!!

While we joked about being dead in a few days to even concluding that may be the news channels have finally rightly predicted the date life would end on planet Earth, and even discussing what we wanna do before we are dead.. I wondered if it was really something to fret about or was it just another issue blown out of proportion, I decided to investigate..

Okkkk, I exaggerated but still watching an hour long special episode on the news channel on a matter that can be stated in 10 minutes by repeating all the facts twice is really a tiring and exhausting thing, equivalent to visiting the place and collecting all the data yourself.. The same tiring video clip being played more than 15 times whilst all your real concern is being replaced in quick succession with a sarcastic humor when you find yourself mocking the plight of others..But then the insensitivity of the news channels either force you to change channel or change attitude and since I can't do the first, I do the second to comfort my wounded self..

So as I saw the recognizable old Yamuna Bridge that was constructed in 1866 by the British East India Company to connect Kolkata and Delhi via Rail, [I love to look up for the most talked about things on the internet, ohh how much I love the internet age, but then I'l talk about it some other day], I wondered that for a change the chosen location was just apt to present the news.. As they stated filling us with all the information about the danger level of the river and the reasons for this potential threat, I was deeply engrossed in collecting as much information as possible, and NO, u are wrong, not to brag about it but just for the love of it.. But to make it grow ugly, they embarked on their overexploited road of repeating and our focus stated shifting to the clipping of the water level and the bridge and then came the unexpected comment from the mother, 'The water at the other end of the river is more than at this end closer to the screen'..

What on Earth was it? You want to say the river is tilted to the end these guys are shooting from? I wonder what was the humor in this sudden and abrupt line that she spoke so effortlessly as if it should invite applaud and I struggled to digest..!! I didn't want to start one of those great arguments by retorting to it, s I kept mum.. While all day she kept switching to the damn news channel to see the bridge drown in water!! Who on Earth is so obsessed with the Yamuna Bridge drowning down? I feel someone should write this song as it has great potential.. While I heard the water levels rising to 205.34 than to 207.05 meters, I also got to know the last time high was 207.49 in 1978 and wondered if the crossing of that mark now in 2010 was anticipated by all? What if Yamuna actually crosses that mark? Would we rejoice and perform some firework or will we all just go ringing breaking another benchmark of maximum calls in a day when all the networks were jammed? As I pat my back such a mind blowing thought, I think I should talk about the end too..

We watched the news channels flashing pictures of drowning homes and helpless people tenting besides the National Highway while my mother kept remembering the names of all the towns and the latest water level in meters.. The reporters in waist high stagnant water telling us how difficult it is for people in such conditions while government isn't actually doing anything.. A reporter again tickled the funny bone when he announced how the 'Coolar' right besides him drowned as water level kept rising since morning..!!! As if he was standing there since morning just to watch that coolar drown!!! As if it was the most important thing and I even wondered if he had any intentions of saving the Drowning Coolar which he just watched as it drowned..!! [:P]

Well by Wednesday morning the water level finally started receding and again my Mother was glued to the news channel to know about every centimeter decrease in the water level of Yamuna till it finally was below the Danger level of 204.83.. [:D]

I just learned another aspect of human tendency and a few facts about the Danger level, the all time high ever touched and I also learned a little bit about the Old Yamuna Bridge.. [:P]

I need more motivation to keep writing..

I always tell myself that I would be writing more often but I end up staying aloof.. I took up writing here just to let out all that I have buzzing inside my head everyday, but then I wondered if talking about real people in the virtual world with regards to my real feelings for them would create too much of a mess, just like in that Disney movie I saw..!!!

In the movie, the main female protagonist based her book on real life characters, instances and incidents.. To try and act a little smart, she gives all the people fictitious names but soon the cover was blown and everyone was upset with the way they were perceived by the writer.. So, in the end, everyone is upset for their interpretation by her and she, well she is alone.. And may be I just don't want to follow her footsteps because we all know life isn't a Disney Movie with a happy end..

I am not afraid of telling people what I think of them but then writing it down here and making it an unchangeable piece of document [though we can always edit whatever post we made, but then taking it back or editing it won't heal the wound].. I am worried about hurting someone with my harsh words when I am angry.. I do it too often and then writing them here and posting it will make it an irreversible process, because I would have made my remarks [that were nothing more then harsh words from a wounded heart] even more insulting and impactful.. So I end up burying it deep inside my heart or just talking to a close friend and crying over the phone till my mouth is dry and my eyes are sore..!!

But some who deserve my wrath for hurting me are also spared because I am more humane than they are and I don't want to inflict the ultimate insult on them where even total strangers and calling them names and cursing them.. Moreover, I am least interested in invoking this kind of sympathy.. I am not really a sympathy dweller who tries to gain acceptance from random strangers and feel better about themselves.. If I feel I am right, I am right, if I feel I am not, I try to make it right.. So while I still try to validate bashing people I dislike here in the virtual world, I would go back to the world to find the reasons to do that.. [:P]

Hatred ..

I wonder if we can ever justify this human trait..

Sometimes we blame it on their behavior, sometimes on plain negative vibes we receive from them, but we all talk about it at some point of time..

Who do I hate? Its not important.. What is important is why we tend to justify it?

Just because we were taught that in school that it is a negative trait and now since we feel hatred and others can very well notice it, that we try to justify it?

Or is it because we want to still feel good about ourselves.. The point is same, its just for those who say, 'they don't care about what people think about them'..

While I try to go into the emotion, I wonder why is hatred such a bad thing?

I hate so many things and a few people too.. But something must have gone wrong to trigger this in me.. Similarly, all the movies would be pointless if there wasn't this hatred thing.. Imagine any movie and it is the hatred for crime, the revenge or just the dislike the Villain or Hero have..!!

Well, my point is, hating something is cool, but you should always keep a check on the feeling as we all know from our practical experiences that 'Excess of everything is bad'.. ;)

Random..

Didn't had much to write all these days.. Was wondering what people like about Twitter.. Facebook though did take over my life to a great extent.. Twitter wasn't as fascinating as I thought it would turn out to be.. Whatever may be the reason, I am again feeling like writing and thus I am back to my favorite place to write, 'Blogger'..

Wondering if in this world of virtual connections, are we loosing on the man-to-man touch?

Now a days, a 'Hi' on Facebook has replaced extensive plans of trying to meet your friends and loved ones.. A means to stay in touch or is it just an illusion to console self that we have hundreds and thousands of friends who we talk to once in a while [though I don't count these occasional 'Hi's' and forced chats as any kind of conversation, until both the parties are equally enthusiastic and willing].. Whatever the case may be, people ask about your email id so that they can keep in touch with you on Facebook..

I sometimes feel like deleting a few contacts that I added just not to hurt their egos, [come on, we all know how we are somehow forced by a force that makes us add the Not-so Friendly Jack, the Authoritative-Senior, the Dumb-Junior, the Trashy-B***h in class that you hate so much, but you accept all their friend requests because either you want to test how much of them can you bear in life, as if you were out to see the compatibility for a prospective marriage or you are so kind not to press the ignore button or sometimes just to avoid a scene and unnecessary fuss that would be generated as you aren't interested in being friendly and are very unsocial and barbaric person who wants to live alone.. And yes, you would see those Over-friendly people that stalk you in the real as well virtual world..

The biggest problem generated I feel is the race of 'PSYCHO BOYS' that are telling you how troubled they are, how they want to end their lives and how you girl are their saviors, what I wonder is why don't they let a boy be their savior.. Are we girls any better at wiping tears and blowing their noses? They are emotional parasites and I would advice all you people out their to evade their kind..!! There is also a breed of 'CRYING BABES' who are troubled and would try to capitalize the generous guys out their whoever lends an ear.. So take care, and stop being their Agony aunts.. Just show them the door because more often than not, they are faking it and dwelling on the softer side of you that is empathic and you stress yourself wondering if they are fine and they just go on and on about how miserable they are with a smile [remember, you can't see them as they write 'SOBBING']..

So as we discover the potential threats and problems that this social network is bringing with it, we'll continue to pretend being social and friendly.. ;)

I love it when my friends want to see me on a short notice..

I love it when I get a call from my friends asking me to meet them at a short notice..
It happens a number of times and I love it this way..

Yesterday, I was just sitting idle and watching the idiot box when my phone started ringing, I saw Pallavi calling, flashing on the screen.. I answered the phone to discover that she was nearby and was hoping to see me.. I immediately got up and got dressed to meet her..

While I love to receive these random calls to meet my friends, I love it more when they give me half an hour's notice so that I can bathe.. [:D]

Last time when Kannu and Mehak showed up, I was yet to take a bath and I ran to take a bath while they kept calling and saying, where the hell on earth are you.. You don't have to take a bath as we aren't fresh ourselves and moreover it was early morning.. I somehow took a bath then and then we hurriedly zoomed off to Kannu's.. It was one hell lot of a day, a sleep over at a friends is always great fun.. Gossiping throughout the night, doing crazy little things and even massages.. We gave each other a nice hair massage.. [:P]

But yesterday, it was all together a different story.. Shweta and Pallavi were expecting to see me in the evening and the lazy me was yet to take a bath.. Since they were almost there, I hurriedly changed into a casual wear than my pyjamas and headed straight to meet them.. As we exchanged pleasantries, we decided to rather go to the nearby complex to grab a quick brunch while we chatted and giggled..We headed to the 'Subway' and it wasn't a pleasant experience.. In fact it was rather a bad choice we felt in the end.. The music was really boring.. The tracks they played were damn irritating sad songs of 90's.. Oh, I can't explain how much I hate them.. I just can't tell you how irritating those 20 minutes in the 'Subway' were like!!! To add to the nasty experience was the strong smell of food.. I know its an eatery and it ought to smell of food, but the smell of the sauce and cream made me feel like puking.. We didn't feel like finishing our meal and headed straight out to the 'Paan Palace' to try a chocolate paan.. Well, I was still not able to get over the burger smell and I didn't try it but my friends did find it good and I thought of giving it a try some other day..

But one thing is for sure, standing at the 'Paan palace' was much better than sitting inside the subway outlet.. The fresh air that wasn't stale with the food smell and the quite atmosphere was more of a relaxing experience than the irritating music that played inside Subway!!!

I don't think I can ever step back into another subway eatery outlet now.. These memories are still going to haunt me for quite sometime now..!! [:P]

Another off and some strange thoughts..

I keep wondering what is it that I dislike so much about having nothing to do while I sometimes feel the monotony of a scheduled life is no fun.. I don't like having too many offs but too many working days also add to the tensed hours spent in the sweaty and hot rooms.. It feels so suffocating in these hot Indian summers and with temperatures soring to 40 in March itself, I wonder what June is gonna be like!!

I wonder what I feel about college coming to an end!! I sometimes feel it isn't going to affect me and sometimes I feel, I won't be able to take it.. The true feelings would surface only when we wont be going to that place again and won't be seeing each other any longer..

I sometimes feel I won't exactly miss my college because there isn't much to miss but then I realise I'll miss my classroom, my friends and classmates.. I wonder that even the creeps in the class would be missed for being so damn good irritating creeps..!!![:D] OK, I agree I am acting too sarcastic here but I think we miss the enemy too as they made us realise the worth of friends who we don't exactly miss as we find means to stay in touch..[:)]

But I think we all ignore the irritants who made us bond so well against them.. How much we hate the creeps in our class, everyone would agree.. We use their name as some kind of an insult.. [:D] Its fun how they unite us against them in the hours of a need, like the desperate need to take a break, or bunk a class.. How they are abused in complete synchrony and how we later laugh at such incidents.. I think I am being too mean today, but its just a momentary thing and soon I'll be defending them here when I would be pitting them..[:)]

I am not immature.. I sometimes feel like shouting out loud..!!

I have recently realised that it is fine to be treated like a child but it really hurts a lot when someone treats you like an immature person..

All this while, in all these years of growing up, I was always treated with lots of love and care.. All my friends have always treated me as a kid, a child who needs to be protected, needs all the care and attention and all the pampering.. It Feels great being treated like the spoilt child of the group, being cared for, when even all your friends fulfill all your wishes and cater to all your whims and fancies.. I was always raised with this feeling of being special and I love all my amazing friends for still caring for me as if I were a kid.. I loved being treated like the delicate kid, the innocent sweet child..

But recently, I am feeling some of them treat me like an immature person and its really not elating!! [:(] I don't like that some of them don't ever take me seriously and think I am always kidding or fooling around.. I am not stupid and out of my mind, I love the care and attention showered on me but I am not an attention seeker, I am dead sure I am not, if I were one, I would accept it like any other of my faults that I am not shy of accepting as when you know your faults, you can work towards correcting them but that is not the point of discussion.. The point is even if I sound silly and stupid, I am immature.. I may not fret about things, may not even give them a slightest thought sometimes because I don't find them worth worrying about and loosing my precious mane, [ U know how much I love my hair, btw, got a new cut last month itself [:)] I know its quite old a thing to mention but I am so in love with the new cut, that I can't help talking about it [;)]].. Look how I easily drift off the topic but this doesn't mean that I am not sensible not to come back, a few wandering moments make me fresher and add a new zeal and some fun in even the most irritating discussion.. Don't you think laughing in the middle of a fight is fun? I find it funny and cute and I do it many a times, lucky me that not many of my beloved friend find it irritating.. Touchwood..!! But I am realising it that people have now started expecting some maturity and sense of responsibility in personal matters.. I value all the relations but can't act all serious all the times, some don't seem to realise it.. It sometimes hurt, but hope they don't burden me with emotions and let me enjoy my strange ways and right to feel free and act randomly.. [:]

{Photo courtesy, its source}

Haven't really got a chance to write for a few days, there are several reasons..

Let me give a brief updates of all the happenings and my own opinions about them :-

1. I had hurt my toe very badly.. It is still blue in pains a little.. How did it happen?
Well, I and Kannu and a few others were going to treat ourselves with chocolate and our college is constructing a new block replacing our beloved greens [I don't like my campus much now, the greenery is shrinking even on the campus under the greed of the management].. The grills uprooted from my beloved 'Bridge' are lined together at various points to restrict entry, but I decided to take a short cut and in the process landed the heavy grill on my toe.. A few minutes later, i was carried to the hospital, taken around the entire place in a wheel chair and I did enjoy the ride though [;)], but my friends concern for my injured toe made me feel even more important part of their lives.. I even feel in the classroom after injuring my toe and finally was again taken to a hospital go get an X-Ray done and finally was dropped home by overtly concerned friends.. The next one week was spent recovering and basking merrily in all the attention and care I was getting.. Oh, I loved it all so much..

It was all the good part.. Yeah, injuring my toe was really the good part..

2. Picking up fights with friends and people I care for.. Somehow things aren't falling in place and I end up fighting with people.. 'Jai' is a little too tensed herself and I she talks a little too less now.. As far as I am concerned, may be even I have changed a bit, but then that's life.. The college is getting over and things and people and conditions and circumstances are changing fast and I am just trying to deal with it all.. [:)]