I need more motivation to keep writing..

I always tell myself that I would be writing more often but I end up staying aloof.. I took up writing here just to let out all that I have buzzing inside my head everyday, but then I wondered if talking about real people in the virtual world with regards to my real feelings for them would create too much of a mess, just like in that Disney movie I saw..!!!

In the movie, the main female protagonist based her book on real life characters, instances and incidents.. To try and act a little smart, she gives all the people fictitious names but soon the cover was blown and everyone was upset with the way they were perceived by the writer.. So, in the end, everyone is upset for their interpretation by her and she, well she is alone.. And may be I just don't want to follow her footsteps because we all know life isn't a Disney Movie with a happy end..

I am not afraid of telling people what I think of them but then writing it down here and making it an unchangeable piece of document [though we can always edit whatever post we made, but then taking it back or editing it won't heal the wound].. I am worried about hurting someone with my harsh words when I am angry.. I do it too often and then writing them here and posting it will make it an irreversible process, because I would have made my remarks [that were nothing more then harsh words from a wounded heart] even more insulting and impactful.. So I end up burying it deep inside my heart or just talking to a close friend and crying over the phone till my mouth is dry and my eyes are sore..!!

But some who deserve my wrath for hurting me are also spared because I am more humane than they are and I don't want to inflict the ultimate insult on them where even total strangers and calling them names and cursing them.. Moreover, I am least interested in invoking this kind of sympathy.. I am not really a sympathy dweller who tries to gain acceptance from random strangers and feel better about themselves.. If I feel I am right, I am right, if I feel I am not, I try to make it right.. So while I still try to validate bashing people I dislike here in the virtual world, I would go back to the world to find the reasons to do that.. [:P]