College!!!

I am back to normal college life.. Normal, though is really not what we would call all this!!!

Went to college on Tuesday, October 20, 2009.. It was a hectic day and back to a schedule after a break was a bit too difficult!! I attended the first few lectures and was tired by the noon.. I wanted a break and set out to spend some time with my friends.. It was a bit of pull leg session... I was though the major victim but it was great fun.. It was a very nice and great talk session.. I loved every bit of it.. I am being honest, I liked the entire session..

In the evening we met again and enjoyed this short meet after college..

Later talked a lot with friends over phone.. Making plans for Wednesday, talking about the happenings today.. Played a few online games and then went to sleep...

October 21, 2009
It was a very nice and exciting dat, starting on a high energy note, I was very happy to see Jai and Bhavu after almost a month.. [Yeah, they were on a month long holiday!!].. I was so delighted to see them that I bunked the first 2 lectures just to be with them.. We attended the 3 and 4th lectures, though unwillingly [I wanted to go out rather than sitting in the lecture].. In the lunch though, they came and we decided to go out.. It was a great outing.. Good food and lots of chats followed by pasteries, I think it was enough for the day!!


It was overall a great day and we had fun..

The Facebook experience...

I told you that I have joined Facebook and I am yet to get the 'I belong' feeling..

Well, a few days later, I have got that feeling..

I am enjoying these online games..

I am playing 3 games on Facebook right now..

1. Farm Ville
2. Vampire Wars
3. Mafia Wars

Farm Ville

This was the first application I used on Facebook.. I knew about this online game, thanks to newspapers and friends and I wanted to see what exactly is this game all about? What is it that keeps people glued to it and spend hours on it.. Newspapers claim that some people are becoming addicted to it that they wake in the middle of the night to harvest their crops or they will wilt!!![:)]... I wanted to feel that rush and madness too and wanted to know if it can really capture my imaginations for days!!!

Well, I played the game, I am on level 5 now.. I liked the game, loved to harvest crops and plough my land too.. My first set of crops wilted in the farm because I wasn't sure when they would be ready to harvest, but then I learned it next time.. Harvested a great yield and bought self a cherry tree, a plum tree, an orange and an apple tree.. Bought self a cow and a hen and got two yellow ribbons.. My farm is a small one and I have great ambitions..[:)]

Did I get those panic attacks.. Frankly speaking, yes I did.. I was worried about my crop when my first wilted and I was short on cash!! But I am cooler now.. Its going all fine..[:)]

(My farm picture)

Vampire Wars

I started playing this game almost immediately.. You know how fascinating I find these creatures of dark, The undead.. So, I signed up for this online game too enthusiastically.. I named my vampire Olivia and I was enjoying feasting on blood, killing other creatures and completing missions.. I rose to level 8 and was more than happy with the way my game was progressing till all the people decided to fight me.. I didn't bother self much about the clan and didn't build it.. Wasted a few favour points on buying health, while it it restored itself in a few hours.. I should have bought clan members.. Now everyone is attacking me and i don't know what to do with it.. I am loosing all my fights and wonder what's next!!

My main aim now is to earn enough favour points to have a clan member to help me fight more of such threats!! Send invites to friends?? Lets see what to do!!

(My Vampire 'Olivia')

Mafia Wars

I joined these mafia wars today itself.. The greatest plus point is that I am a member of a gang of strength 18.. I am happy, I wont be victimised here as I am not alone here.. Within a day I have earned my character, 'Emillie', a great place as a fearless fighter who has a property and various offense and defence items and who is completing jobs at great pace!! I am on level 6 and I achieved the 'Working Man' status in my gang..[;)]

Its quite fun to fight in a group rather than my lonely vampire.. I'll do something about it soon..

It was Diwali..

Oh, god!!!

The festive season is finally over.. It was too hectic.. Rush in the markets, lots of noise and so many sweets to gorge upon that I am sure I have put on a few extra kilos..!!!

What is on my mind now??

Obviously, to loose weight.. Oh! how we girls are so obsessed with our weights!! I think its the most important issue in our lives.. Followed closely by fashion.. What to wear, what not to!! I try my level best to keep my cool and not worry much about it, [I am not kidding, I once gained weight like anything till I stopped liking the girl in the mirror].. Now I check self in the mirror and see if I dislike the girl in the mirror again!!

What was great this DIWALI??

My friends visited me.. It was great to see them.. Playing games with my family.. Cards are let out in the open only during Diwali..:D

What was a put off?

Oh god!! The noise and the pollution..

Visualize this scene..

It was 10:30pm.. I was about to go and sleep.. When a loud noise from crackers almost deafened me and what followed it choked me to death.. Within a few seconds of the loud thud of the crackers bursting outside, a cloud of smoke entered our room.. It seeped in through the windows and from below the door and I was coughing and my nose receptors could feel the discomfort and my brain triggered some reflex to motion my muscles and I opened the doors to let out the smoke, so that the carbon-monoxide didn't kill me while I slept.. The deafening noise made me want to file some kinda petition to ban crackers forever!!

Ever since I was in class 5, I knew crackers were bad, I had been participating in the 'Say No to Crackers' campaigns and rallies!! I remember when we were told how small kids our age [for those who look for mistakes, I am writing these lines as a class 5 girl] were forced to work in inhuman conditions to make crackers in the factories with unhygienic working and living conditions.. How these kids were bounded labourers and didn't get a pay for this dangerous job and we, on the other hand, just burst them to gain joys for a few seconds!! Since then, I am supporting 'Say No to Crackers'..

Overall it was just fine..

I also got back my luggage.. [Oh, its a long story.. Wait for the pics and stories about my Manali trip and you'll know all..[:)]]

Trying Facebook..

I have finally signed up for facebook.. I wasn't registering on that social networking site because I thought I have had enough of social networking sites after my stint with Orkut..

Ever since I stepped into college, I was becoming more and more aware of the necessary evil of 'Social Networking' sites.. I was asked by all my friends to join Orkut and I agreed.. To stay in touch was the reason quoted!! Well, I finally settled into the mode and was getting used to the social networking site but within a few months my friends wanted me to sign up on Facebook too.. I drew the line then.. I won't sign up on another social networking site.. While people were all discussing how amazing Facebook was, I was resolving not to give into the temptation.. I was fine with Orkut, but people were increasingly deserting this site for the other!!

I then thought of giving it a shot.. Signed up yesterday and I didn't find it that exciting.. Its just for all those people who don't have other options to spend their time.. Honestly, that's my opinion, you may differ.. But the truth is, its not what I expected it to be like.. Or maybe it'll take time to sink in.. Before I get used to the way things work there.. Lets see how it turns out to be..:D

Manali Trip: Day 1

Well,

I think I can talk about the trip now.. It wasn't something I expected!! I know I shouldn't expect things to be good in the first place, but its human nature, so couldn't help expecting amazing things as it was my first outing with friends..

One thing is for sure, for a lazy being like me, a tightly scheduled trip requiring you to get up at 6, to get ready to leave by 7 in the morning and being up till 10 in the night without a little nap in the noon, is more of a torture than a break!!! Its not something we are used to!!![:D]

Reached the college by 3 but nothing much to do till 5:30 or so.. We sat there laughing, chatting and clicking photos before we leave our beloved college [Don't take the word beloved too seriously].. It was a long wait before the bus finally showed up.. It was almost 7 by then.. We were alloted a very rickety bus!! It was newly painted and the paint wasn't dry.. The AC wasn't working and the door couldn't be closed, forget locked!!

(Waiting for the bus with friends)

(At the Toll Plaza - Panipat)

(At the Toll Plaza)

(The Toll Plaza - Panipat)

So it wasn't a good bus nor the seats were comfortable.. But the last nail in the coffin was the fact that our luggage was kept in the other bus as the trunk lid was jammed!! So as we struggled without even a sheet to cover ourselves with in the chilling night, I was more worried about my specs and most important, my toothbrush and paste.. How would I live without brushing?

(Eating at a roadside Dhabba)

As I was shouting at top of my voice to be given my luggage to get my blanket but my major concern was my brush!! We were assured that we would get our luggage in the morning but the morning had something else in store for us!!

We could hardly sleep in these harsh conditions, but somehow I was able to doze for a few hours.. As I woke up amidst a feud.. The girls wanted the bus to halt for a freshen up break but the driver wasn't pushing the brakes.. Finally he succumbed!! As I was returning from the washroom, I heard people discussing that we were on the wrong route!! 40 kms in the wrong direction!! I was shocked to hear it.. What was more disheartening was the fact that the other bus didn't keep track of our bus and didn't wait for us even after they were informed that we were on the wrong route and were almost lost!!

(The road at night from the bus window)

This is how the day one ended!! In great discomfort and nothing to feel good about!!

I am back..

Hi,

I am back from Manali.. How was this experience?? Well, there is lot to tell.. Some good, some bad and some worst situations!!

Will share the tour in bits in the coming days along with pictures...

[:)]

Things still on my wish list..

These are the things still on my wish list..

• Nice pair of heels!!! Oh, I am dying to own an awesome pair!!!
• A digital camera.. I am bad with electronic goods and I am yet not able to coax them into buying one for me.. Lets see how soon this one gets fulfilled!!
• I am not visiting the psychiatrist for the time being..[;)] So my dream fantasy of marrying one has to wait.. Moreover, I am too young to get married!!
• I am still considering those yoga classes to control my temper..
• I'll try not to come into a direct ego tussle with any of my teachers!! Hard, but I'll try..

Lets see how soon some of them are going to shape up.. Most of the amazing things though have to wait!! I meant the Psychiatrist and Digital camera and yeah, the most important, HEELS!!![;)]

Planning for my brief vacation...

I am going on a brief vacation to Manali.. Its going to be fun, at least I am hoping..

The hectic part is to pack for a trip.. What to pack and what not to!!

Its such a big deal because we gals carry our entire home with us in our handbags even when we are out of our dens for just a few hours [I used the word den because I consider self a Tigress [;)]].. Imagine our dilemma when we are out for more than 4 days!! What would we do in such a scenario? What not to carry is our biggest decision to be taken!!

Most of the time Mum does my packing, but I am trying to be the boss this time round, that means a lot more of contradictions and a lot more of confusion!! We'll fight every few minutes and restart again and again.. Well I am not predicting things but this is what is going on for a few days!! So decided to give in and let her take the responsibility.. I am better off taking responsibility at work [Here though it means college and studies!!]..

So now she will see that everything I would need is packed and sent with me..

Well this also means that I put the plan of buying nice pair of heels be put on hold too..[:(] I wanted them so bad!! Its always this way.. The more badly I want a thing, the more struggle before getting to lay my hands on it.. Yeah, its with almost with everyone else too but I have every right to still complain about it.. Huh...

Yogi isn't coming and so is Garu.. But I am still expecting its gonna be alright.. Die hard optimist in certain situations.. Some feel I am so contradicting that I sometimes call self optimist and pessimist at the same time!! Well that's me... Deal with it.. I am sometimes too optimistic sometimes not.. It depends on how passionately I believe in whatever I think I can predict!!

I am yet to finalize things after these last minute hiccups and hope it would all go fine!!

Its a college trip and thus with friends, I feel its gonna be hell lot of things we can remember in future and laugh about.. Too optimist right now..

Will still think about those awesome heels I look forward to buy..[;)]

Life changes in a second...

I want to buy a pair of nice heels..
Everyone knows we girls love to choose our pair of heels after great considerations.. We just don't go and buy a pair without being fully satisfied..


A few years ago, I used to wear heels.. I have owned some very amazing pieces.. The strappy numbers, the platforms, the kitten heels and even the pencil heels.. I had loved each pair and had worn them till they were not fit for wearing.. Amazing pairs in all different colours..









But as I was getting into the second year of college, my love for heels gave way to flats.. I just felt like changing into something I can run around in .. Something that can let my feet breathe!! Something that would sore the sole of my foot less.. So I bought these lovable floaters.. They are comfortable and quite a charmer.. I love wearing them around.. My feet aren't aching by the end of the day even if I am standing on my feet the entire day.. I am counting walking separately because its harder than just standing.. Anyways, I am definitely truly in love with my pair of floaters I bought but now I wanna move back to some heels..




For the past year I have only worn floaters.. I didn't wear any other form of footwear and it calls for a change.. Its time I add some inches to my frame in the vertical dimension only.. Who wanna grow fat anyways.. Not until I am paid to.. May be not even if I am paid.. Anyways, what I want now is a nice pair of heels.. I did go to a few shops but just couldn't get myself to fall head over heels in love with a pair..[;)] Anyways, I am quite determined to own a pair soon..




So I called my friend Jai.. She is amazing.. Has awesome shopping capabilities.. I on the other hand behave like the guys, buy it here and now.. Why look around the entire market when you have liked it here.. But she like a true shop alcoholic would look through the entire things put for sale before buying anything.. Sometimes we go from one market to another and back to the first market and buy what we liked in the first go.. I sometimes feel like picking a fight over this issue.. Was kidding, but I do tease her for this classic girly streak..[:D]

So she is the one with whom I am sure, I am not wasting money in buying a thing.. It is a well researched and a very thoughtful decision, considering the fact that I just tend to buy things from the first store I enter!! Don't even try to look what the other store has on display.. I am this way for the food too, no need to check the menu, I'll stick to my plain dish unless someone coaxes me to try something new.. Well, that's me contrary to others gals..

Thus as soon as I was clear about what I want, I knew who to ask for help.. I gave Jai a call and we decided to check the 'Rajori Market' as we both feel we'll find great footwear there.. So as we were chalking our plans for tomorrow, she asked me to hold for a minute as she had another call.. As she put me on hold to take the other call, I was imagining the various amazing heels I can choose from.. Since she is very avid talker, I hung up to call her later..

Within a minute she rang me back.. I was about to reconfirm our plan when she suddenly blurted out.. 'Nikki, we can't go tomorrow.. I have to visit the university tomorrow!! Did I tell you about the place.. Kapil [her school friend] told me the guy who was giving these form was whirling his kurta over his head!!'.. Yeah, it was the kurta he was supposed to wear!! It was utter horror.. I can't see myself going all the way to Rohtak.. Its reputation as a place isn't too good.. Mum says so too.. She might just go there tomorrow, means we aren't going shopping!![:(] .. Why always me, I wonder.. We then mocked the fact 'How could any of our plans go well'!!!

Whatever we plan, it has to go wrong.. In the worst possible way.. So we assumed we were mad to think we could have this one plan executed without its last minute hiccups!! Silly us!! So as I was about to go on my 'You never do a thing in time', She spoke up, "This time I was doing things one day before the last date!!" [:D].. I smiled and said 'I was about to go on that topic only'.. As we laughed on the latest develpoments, I knew the nice pair of heels have to wait..

I didn't realise it then...

The number of holidays we get every other day is driving me mad.. While some really have things to do in this small break from college life, the rest are getting bored at home..


I was sitting next to my Dad and watching a movie when suddenly a huge procession on road started blaring loud and deafening music, forcing me to get up and see what was the occasion.. I was surprised to see a Dussehra procession.. Now? After almost a week? I was left wondering.. I shouted out to ask Dad if the festival was on 28th of September, the previous Monday!! He replied in an affirmative.. I then went in to inform my sister that Dussehra was on September 28 and we have a procession now!!

I then realised that this year there wasn't a single procession marking the event when someone dressed as Lord Rama recreates the magic of the moment of Ravana meeting his end!! He was killed by Rama in a battle that signifies the victory of good over bad.. [Yeah, the concept of all the movies made around the world!!]...

As a child I used to wait for the procession.. The majestic figure of Ravana and his ten heads and his moustache always made him a figure so fantastic.. I liked his majesty.. I think I like Bad Boys!![;)] .. Jokes apart, he was always majestic, with great powers and wisdom.. Though he was brought down by his silly acts.. But I loved to see someone impersonating him.. I have seen his effigy burn to ashes that marked the end of the long struggle between the good and bad [though cut to 15 days now].. I remember going to those packed 'Ramlila' grounds, sitting on those couches laid for viewers who were some sort of VIPs..[:D].. Yeah I sat on the VIP couches.. But it was fun to be there watching them essay the entire epic for you day after day... I am a big gal now and don't look forward to them anymore.. But seems the kids don't enjoy it anymore.. Looks like it is dying.. I loved the 'Ramlila' part in Delhi 6, the movie, for those who don't know.. I think it was cute.. It was fun to see a new concept in a movie.. But the recent happening have disappointed me a bit..

I wondered why was there this disparity?? All these years I have been noting the deterioration in the quality of procession but didn't realise that there wasn't any this year.. I wonder what has happened to all the people.. May be that is why I didn't realise the festival come and go.. Whatever may be the reason, I wonder if one day all these 'Ramlilas' and procession would die? Lets see what the future holds..

Gandhi Jayanti..

Its Mahatama Gandhi's Birthday.. What it means to most of us is just another national holiday.. But seems the entire world is obsessed with Gandhi.. The Father of the NATION is the most charismatic man in history it seems.. The entire newspaper is filled with articles about the man or at least carries a picture of the khadi clad man on every page.. The teachings, I didn't use the word preachings because he practiced what he preached, so teachings seems more appropriate.. He has suddenly becoming an icon again..

Youngsters love to flaunt him on their T-shirts.. The children have been dressing up like him since ages for the fancy dress competitions and the old always liked him.. I don't know what to say about him but he was definitely a great force to reckon with in the pre-independence India.. I think I can call him a great leader because he could channelise the masses for a common cause.. Of course the sacrifices and contributions of all the revolutionaries is sometimes righty weighed over Gandhi's effort but he was successful in making the masses a part of his struggle.. As we enjoy this democracy, we should never forget these men who contributed in thier own ways to ensure we live the way we live now..

We can watch any of the various Gandhi inspired movies on television today.. Some on his life, some on the movements he started and some on his teachings.. So while we laugh at the most silly teaching that says, 'Present your other cheek when someone slaps you'.. We can surely look up to him for being successful in binding the people of different faiths and cultures for a common cause that makes us feel secure today..

[Photos courtesy - gandhifoundation.org and t-shirts.cafepress]

Spare me the honor of being the most discussed topic in the hallway..

I sometimes wonder if I am really that hard nut to crack? Am I really that stubborn and obstinate being? I sometimes do feel that I tend to over react, but am I to be blamed for everything, I think we all have a tendency of finding faults in others to save our skin!!

I am just another human being with a faulty personality but to generalise my personality like this would amount to cruelty..[;)] OK.. I know I went overboard but still I dislike being judged all the time.. I am not participating in one of the many contests on various shows on television then why do I need to please anyone? I wonder why do people want to categorise me as, 'I know her, she is way too much!!' or 'I know her, she is fine..' I don't need you guys to do the talking for me.. I won't pay you for saying either of the two sentences..

I generally say, 'I don't know much about him/her' to any inquiries regarding someone.. I do have opinions about people but I don't want to proclaim it to the world!! My opinion, my wish.. You need not agree or disagree.. Its based on my observation and my experience.. Don't want to know if you faced anything similar.. I don't talk much about others unless I really intend to tarnish their image or enhance it.. I don't need to say, 'He/she is damn irritating' to a near stranger, just because he/she wants to know my opinion on the subject of their research.. Or praise him/her to great lengths.. In case of close friends or amazingly beloved enemies, the rule doesn't hold..[;)]

I am just fed up of hearing people who didn't even talk to me once say 'I have heard she is too arrogant and nasty being'.. Or a simple 'she is fine'.. Both the sentences are damn irritating.. Who made you an expert on dealing with me.. Who gave you the right or the degree to talk about me with this smirk of arrogance as if you have spent a lifetime with me? You say a 'Hi' and move on towards your destination and their acquaintances inquire about you while you can still hear them discuss you.. I prefer being unsocial to this unnecessary fuss you generate when you walk down a corridor.. God save me from being the topic that pops up whenever you move across the hallway.. I am not amused.. I am not..

So please spare me the honor of being the most discussed topic in the hallway.. There are so many others who crave for it.. Who go to lengths to be the topic of everyone's discussion.. I hate to see you looking at me and talking to your buddy, making it so obvious that you are talking about me.. Be it the guys or the gals, none of you is that smart to disguise your main focus.. Go get a life.. I would be happy not to be the topic of your discussions.. I am not amused by these glares.. At least don't stare at me while you talk about me, may be it would make you all bearable, while all this while I feel like walking upto you and ask, 'What's your problem?'.. But I deter self from doing so, as I don't want to give you a new thing to talk about me..

Wow man.. I never thought the change was just round the corner.. I expect some fun now..

Now this is the newest thing in my life.. My story...

My Dad wants to take me to a doctor, a psychiatrist to be more specific.. Why?

Beacuse I don't like anything.. Beacuse I don't like anyone.. Beacuse I am becoming an irritated being who picks up a fight on the slightest provocation.. Because I am being to ruthless in my speech.. I wonder if he wants to know the real reason or he thinks I can be cured by a doctor.. Whatever may be the intention, I may soon find myself in a psychiatrist's chamber.. And if I am gonna experience it, I'll let you guys know.. May be it would be a fun to meet someone who is trying to know your real intent while trying to talk to you and not make your brain work overtime..[;)].. Lets see if he comes up with a genuine problem or he calls it anxiety or depression..

I am excited even at the prospects of meeting one.. I always thought that only a psychiatrist can understand me and that I'll make an amzing subject of research in the mental dimensions [I mean brain, I don't think I have any such problem.. I know what my problem is.. And I don't need any help!!] and thus look forward to even marrying one some day.. Who knows I may really find someone who really understand me and my behaviour.. Hope he turns out to be handsome.. Oh!! god, this thought just passed my mind.. I would be really disappointed if it turns out to be a woman.. What say?[;)][:D]

puzzled sentences.. Wanted to check if it helps...

I am feeling too lonely today..

I don't know what is wrong with me..

Wanna cry...

Just wanna go away.. To a place where I can hear myself think!!!

I am not liking anything..

My mum is irritating me big time these days!!!

I need a change and I don't know what to do!!!

I wish I could make all those things right..

I wish I could talk to someone I wanna talk to!!!

I wish I could undo whatever I have done wrong!!

I don't wanna fight anymore..

I think I should try meditating.. I wish I could focus onto one thing at a time..

I wonder are these sentences gonna help me or I am just wasting my time...

I am feeling low...

The feeling doesn't go..

I know the cause..

Can't do anything because...

Don't wanna talk about it now..

To be prepared for it, I wonder how..

End of the silly strange post..

I think its time to bed..

And take some rest..

The next day would be fine...

As the new dawn brings a new beginning..

But what about this pending ending..

Lets just wait and watch...

Till its time for a blast...

I am afraid of rash driving..

Did I tell you about the travel to Noida to meet my cousin..

It was a nice Sunday morning and we started getting ready for leaving the house by 10.. As we started off, I knew its gonna be hard.. Why?

Well, I knew I won't be able to handle it and thus had packed the newspaper and my headphone to listen to music and read while we were on the move.. I like travelling but rash driving makes me mad.. I just can't stay calm and relaxed when the vehicle is running at great speed and in a zig-zag manner..

My Dad can be categorized as a rash driver.. He drives at a great speed and also takes very sharp turns.. I have these panic attacks, these anxiety attacks!! I can take a ride on all the various rides in an amusement park without sweating my palms but a ride in my Dad's car makes me sweat and have increased heartbeat!! I feel anxious and I start praying to lord that I step out of the car with my entire family unhurt!! This is the extent of anxiety I experience..

So in the morning as our car was speeding on the highway, I asked my father to drive a bit slow, or at least not that recklessly, but it was of no good help!! In the end, I took out my headphones and let the music blare into my ears.. As I reached our destination, I almost forgot about the journey till here.. But, I was to go through it all over again!! I just don't know why he is such a bad driver.. I was praying all the time, I was inside the car and I was crying.. I wished I never get in this situation again..

Back home I discussed it with dad.. OK, I was a bit harsh with my words and we fought over it..

But, the next day I woke up and we were ready to talk about it and I wish he drives a bit more cautiously the next time we go out together..

Hate news channels..

I hate the news channels.. I hate them for featuring the health sections, the terrorism special or just predicting the last day of Earth's history, especially the Hindi news channels.. They can drive any sane man nuts!!

My parents have this strange fixation with Hindi news channels and Hindi newspaper.. All my life, [I know I am not old enough to use the phrase, still it makes me feel that I can express my despair more effectively if I use this particular phrase] I have felt that the Hindi newspaper and news channels are misleading.. I feel, hardly any news telecasted as 'Breaking News' is really worth the title.. Anyways, I hate my parents for believing whatever strange news they show.. Their Pakistan Special and terrorism special news are all hypothetical.. I hate them for ending the bulletin with a question like 'What will India do?' or 'How will America react now?'.. Let the people responsible decide and call a press conference and we all will know what India or America would do..

I sometimes wonder why they want to create panic and chaos when there are other important issues to be scrutinized by the vigilant eyes of a journalist.. They run a single piece of news for hours together making it an irritating issue rather than a major issue of concern.. Be it the 'Arushi Murder case' or any other sensational and controversial piece of news... They'll go on and on about it.. sometimes its the news with all the details they telecasted a few minutes back running again and again..

I hate the health section more though.. At least in case of the same piece of news, even my parents are fed up of the news channel for the day.. But they never miss the India-Pakistan news.. The terrorist camps in the POK and so on.. And their other favorite is the Health special sections, in which a doctor would take calls from frenzied callers like my parents who either suspect to be ill or are diagnosed with the disease.. How can a doctor help you by just hearing you, without seeing your report?? The doctor on panel keeps repeating, consult your doctor every time someone calls, but its useless trying to explain the frantic callers.. I wonder, why they don't ask the channel not to advertise a number to call on.. May be the channels earns through these calls made to their numbers.. I don't know about these channels though I am sure these reality shows do earn out of these calls..

My problem is that my mother is in the habit of self diagnosis.. She hears the doctors talk about a disease and concludes she has the disease.. I know she has a unstable blood pressure and has arthritis but she thinks every single disease is developing in her body.. Its sometimes so irritating to hear her go on and on about the diseases she can develop and is developing.. She thinks very soon she'll be a diabetic and soon a patient of paralysis!! God save her soul of all these self inflicted tortures!!!

The 'I don't like it anymore syndrome'...

I don't like an off when everyone is going to be at home.. Its a feeling I get after I had been wanting to spend time with everyone for quite sometime..

I think almost everyone has had such a feeling.. Its a feeling that you have when you don't want a thing you once wanted.. I get this feeling way too frequently.. I want something now and may be I won't like to have it the next moment.. Its worse when you get this 'I don't want it now' feeling when you have already got the object it signifies.. I have been dealing with it for way too long..

Once I wanted this dress, I was longing for it .. Thinking about it day and night.. And then I bought it.. And now, I don't want it.. I wonder, why I bought it in the first place.. What did I like in it?? This change of taste and attitude is sometimes harder to deal with.. [It was too easy to shut that dress off in some corner]

Its when you feel same about a living being.. Another human being for instance.. I think for a pet too, it would be a very taxing situation.. It may be the reason why my mum shudders even at the prospects of having a pet.. Though I promise her day in and day out that I would take responsibility of all the aspects regarding rearing and nurturing it, of its upbringing, to be more precise.. Oh god!! again I am wandering off the main topic..

I think its difficult to understand for a 'Die-hard Romantic', but others who are more realistic would agree.. We just wake up one day and all the love we had, I think it wasn't love, well, I feel liking is a better suited word.. The point is, we don't like it with the same zest anymore!! We may pretend to have the same feelings, but I feel this pretending won't hide the facts for too long!! Then you try to look at all the flaws and negatives about that person and are busy finding reasons to break free..

I feel, its in the best interest of both the concerned parties to come clean.. Just make them sit and spill it out in front of them.. Its always better to have a one on one conversation.. I would prefer to say it out once and for all to the person.. This way I would save self from being fake, [Oh!! I hate that fake smile that is supposed to mean approval or 'yes, I am paying attention to whatever you are saying', while all this while, inside I am feeling just the opposite].. I won't have to put up with someone I don't like..[You all know how much I dislike hypocrisy]...

I know, you must be thinking that its easy to be the one getting this, 'I am fed up feeling'.. Seems she has never been the other party.. I am not sure, if I were ever the second party, because no one ever had the courage to tell me that 'I am over you'.. Its not necessary that only a boyfriend has the right to say so, even your friends, teachers or just classmates can say this to you..

The point is I would like to hear the line with a reason, to a moron ignoring me day in day out.. I won't kill you for saying that certain aspects of my personality are just not that interesting to you anymore.. It would be nicer than blowing me off the handle every time we are together or I try to talk to you.. Walk up to me, tell your problem and we would see if we could fix it or not.. Whether its the final call or not.. Whether we can still adjust or ignore or accept it more gracefully or not..

I am lucky to have honest conversation with most of my good friends.. Some friends that I am no longer in contact with know why we lost touch.. They know why I wasn't talking to them or why I am not talking to them now.. Why I am angry.. And we try to resolve the matter or come to a compromise.. But I hate some who have left some question marks!! I don't know what went wrong.. I sometimes get upset over the fact that I don't know why it didn't work out.. I want answers.. I want replies.. I wonder for sometime.. Struggle to get it right.. Or know the reason.. And as it should be, one day just wake up without even a trace of it in my system.. Then, I don't want to know what happened, what could have it been like if we talked about it.. I am happy, I am not wasting anymore of my energy on a dead relation in my life.. I can now use this energy conserved to build another relation that I hope to nurture till I get that 'I don't want it anymore' feeling again!!...[;)]

The tests are over and we got another stint with holidays..

Yesterday was the last day of studying so hard..

It was the day of our last internal evaluation tests.. I hate the sincerity now attached with the centralized tests!! As I wrote once, I hate internal evaluation as they grill us throughout the year!! I wish I could put an end to it, or at least wish that the students in my class took it less seriously.. Seeing them all burying their heads in the pile of books, I feel I'll be left behind if I don't do the same.. You can say peer pressure makes me read for these exams.. But still I did go to college unprepared for the demeaning test!! It was a very strange bad feeling that I get whenever I see myself lagging behind on the scoreboard.. It drives me mad and brings me to my senses.. [The success rate, however, is 1 in 10.. But still I love that 10 percent chance change]..[:)]

Now since we have got an amazing off [We aren't showing up till October 6], I was wondering how I would spend these 10 days.. As I know no amount of planning would help, I am letting impulse and the demand of the moment guide me spend these 10 amazing offs that I got!!!

DAY 1

It has all been sorted.. I am going to pay my cousin a visit.. We are going to their place to spend some time together and have some fun.. Lets see how great or bad it turns out to be..[;)]

Poem by a follower..

Hello everyone...

Good morning..

This is a poem by 'Shashank Rastogi'.. He wanted to share it with you all via my blog.. [I am happy, he felt like speaking through my blog]

Still waiting for that day

When she broke my heart...

It was a beautiful morning,

all the lovely birds and flowers were yawning,

in the form of small droplets,the rain was falling,

n in my mind,peace and calmness were crawling...

then,she came up,n welcomed me,

with her mesmerizing smile,

but all this,was just for a while...

suddenly the light rain got heavy n the clouds got dark,

and all my peace,just blew up with a spark....

all this, was just becoz of her expressionless attitude,

and why i fell for her,is a mistake,for which...

I still shiver in my own ingratitude..

everytime I gave her a flower n she just said thanks,

all my sentiments in pain n distrust,got hanged....

everytime I raised my hand,to hold hers,

and she didn't react.

I used to settle myself by saying that,

a day will cum,

when she herself will hold my hand,

when she herself will give me the hug,

in which I would be able to hold my entire world,

but she, destroyed all my hopes,

n i feel like hanging myself up with a rope...

but in my mind,there is a huge fear,

that, d day I die,will there be,

on my dead body,

a single drop of her tears.....

I m still waiting for those hands,to complete,

the spaces between mine,

I m still waiting, for that hug,for that kiss....

and in my life,her support is something,that

I really miss.

I m still waiting for that day,

when my dreams will become true,

n my life, will get the proper way..

NOTE :- I tried to give the poem a name.. So if you have a better suggestion, please leave a comment..

[Photo courtesy :- dreamstime.com]

The most disgusting experience .. So Yucky..!!!

Oh! I am so horrified and tormented that all this while I wanted to rush back home and write about this unpleasant and yucky experience I had today... I need to hear a few sympathetic words..

It was a very hectic day right from the start.. Mum has been experiencing a roused cervical pain since yesterday.. I was so worried about her, did even massage with 'Iodex', but its not helping.. I woke up in the morning and did give her a hot water bottle to tend her aching muscles.. Did massage the area again in the morning.. In the whole process, I didn't read much for the test today.. No regrets, mum's more important than a test..

I was so busy the entire morning that I didn't had time to breathe till I left for the college [The test was scheduled at 1:30 and I leave for college at around 12].. I bathed in a hurry, just swallowed my breakfast without chewing it and somehow reached the stand just to catch the bus in time.. God! finally into the bus..

I thought of giving a read to at least one of the two units [The questions were to be framed from 2 units only].. As I read the pages from the book, I started explaining them to a friend who didn't even had the subject.. [So sweet of him to still hear me and also providing a nice feedback].. Lucky me, so far so good.. I felt things were finally looking up.. But it was just the small interval between the two parts of my so tiring and so irritating day..

I reached college and gave a call to my friend.. The phone was answered.. Its such a big deal because my college is outside my state of residence and thus not many pick up calls because of roaming charges..

I almost shouted, 'Why the hell did you answer my call?'

Pat came the reply, though in the form of a question only-'Who the hell is this?'

I then recognised the voice, well that was the first time the one on the other side of the phone got to speak.. Well it was her mum.. Oh God! what a language I was using!!

It wasn't the end of that sarcastically hilarious conversation..

I said in a very taunting voice, 'She has left her back home?'

I was feeling so intelligent, but this feeling was to be so short-lived, I never thought about it, not even in my dreams..

Her mum replied, 'Oh girl! You have called on the land line number!!'

I was silenced by my stupidity.. You can laugh out loud.. No need to hold back self..

Well, I went in the main building then.. Met my friends.. Revised the one unit I had just read while Jai was trying to gain some points to write on the answer sheet.. She was blank and unprepared before this small conversation.. You must be wondering, 'Why was she blank?'

She didn't have the book while I had two.. She didn't tell me about it till yesterday evening.. So we didn't get time to exchange it..

I went to my room.. I gazed at the question paper for a few minutes as the questions were framed from three units rather than two!! Oh my God!! All my earlier calculations and the hope of clearing the exam sank!! As I still got myself to look at it more observantly.. I marked the questions i knew and I could attempt!! [There is a difference in between the questions whose answers you know and the questions you can attempt!! Hope some are understanding my point].. Anyways, to add fuel to fire, the paper was lengthy..

I generally leave the examination hall by half time but today I had just done a question and a half by then.. One and a half questions were still remaining.. I loose interest in writing the paper as soon as the clock shows half time is over.. We are programmed that way in all these years in college..[:D] Anyways, I somehow did the second question to my greatest satisfaction and just attempted the third question just for the sake of it..[:)]

[THE MOST IRRITATING THING IN THE ENTIRE DAY]

But in this One and a Half hour, I was subjected the most horrifying and yucky experience.. My Exam partner is so damn filthy and clumsy.. He is lousy, dirty and smutty.. He is a grotty, grubby and disgust arousing person!!! I felt like puking there and then.. On his damn sick face.. I wish I really do some damage by writing about him here on my blog..

What did he do to deserve all this? You must be wondering.. Read on to know..

He sat there, next to me, digging his nose.. There was this excavation work going on while I sat there making the worst face I can make.. Oh my God!! I never thought any guy can have the courage to dig his nose in public like that!! It wasn't the end of it.. He took out his nose dirt, made a ball of it and then stick it on our desk!!! YUCK...

Didn't anyone ever told him that such activities that arouse feelings of puking from the meek spectators are prohibited in public!!!!

As I saw him proceed on his,' Oh so relieving inner journey', I was filled with horror!!! He was the most annoying being in the room.. For a change, the teacher who I hate so much fared above him!!! As another teacher took his ID card, I wished he throws him out too.. But, I wasn't destinied to get this small relief!! Somehow I finished my paper and ran out to pour my heart out to all my friends... I told the incident to my friends, friends of my friends and everyone I knew but I wasn't still feeling better till I wrote this and told about it to my very good friend on phone...