This heart breaking LOVE..

My friend is upset.. Very upset..

I could make out that something is wrong the moment I picked the receiver, asked her if everything was alright.. A yes, was all she said, but I could feel the discomfort in her voice.. I didn't felt like pressing her too hard [don't subject people to what I wont like to face myself], so as we talked about stuffs I did, I was still wondering what was behind her sadness..

I asked her what all she did and for a first time she didn't give me a minute to minute detail of things she did!! She is very descriptive, even more than I seem here.. May be its a quality I picked from her, like she picked a few from me..[:)]

As she said nothing in a very monotonous and low voice, I knew something was bothering her.. I asked again, is everything alright?? She was saying a yes again, while I could hear her voice quiver.. I knew there was something, but I wasn't sure what it was.. I wasn't interested in making wild guesses this time.. Most of the time I say something and would shout "Touch wood" the very next moment.. I have these strange coincidences where all the foul things I say come true.. A God's gift!! I don't think it is!!

So, as I refrained self from being too pessimistic and making wild guesses, I asked her and getting a contradictory reply made me wonder what it is!! As I almost believed whatever she said, I was ready to put down the phone and go back to catch up with the TV show I was watching!!

A few hours later, all tired and exhausted I hit the bed.. Putting the phone on silent is almost a religion now, so doing it was some kind of satisfaction..

My sister saw a blinking mobile, thinking it was hers, she got up from the bed just to discover it was mine.. Handed over the phone to me to lie down again.. As I saw the number flashing on the screen, I almost remembered what I felt when I talked to her.. That she was upset and not in a mood to talk about it..

I answered the phone, wore my slippers and quickly slipped out of my room to sit in other room and talk to her for hours.. We don't let anyone attend calls in the bedroom as it disrupts other's sleep.. As I walked down the lobby to the other room, I was asking her if she was fine and what was the thing troubling her..

As she started with my favourite line, I knew she was feeling too low and was too sentimental and emotional at the moment.. BTW, my favourite line is "Nikki, You know something.. You are really very very nice.." [I know this sounds like a too pompous, but I love it when someone says it].. So as she sobbed and I agreed to her line, [she doesn't like it when I don't agree with the fact that I am too good!![;)]] I was trying to make her to come to the point..

Well, her good friends were parting ways.. And now since that was a relation she helped build and nurtured with great effort, I knew the pain she felt.. The news of their break up was a shock to me too.. I met them and they looked fine, in fact great together and I just couldn't find a reason to think it was called for.. I didn't see it coming [with my level of negativity regarding relations, I can say, I can see it coming, I can predict it.. But in their case, even I didn't feel it was something I would hear..].. As I tried to reconfirm what I heard, I wondered what could possibly have gone wrong!!

As in the Enrique's song, 'Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly'.. I wonder if it was the final destination of the various high school and college relationships.. Its always difficult to see it coming.. The 'Break up', it just comes out of nowhere and strikes you hard and even before you could know, the beautiful world you created is gone.. Swept by a wind, washed by a tide, it just leaves a few devastated people behind, a broken man/woman and lots of tears.. Though not many guys moan it like girls do!!

I didn't see a guy crying, while we girls, I don't understand why we get so attached to someone that we feel broken when they leave.. Whatever it be, the hormones or our lack of strength [that's what people call] but after a days of shedding tears day and night, we emerge stronger.. We are able to face the situation and learn to move on..

I wish my friend's friend too gets that strength and my friend too gets over this shock of their break up!! While I try to relearn a lesson learnt by heart, that such relations are not meant to last!! That they are the first trees to fall, when the wind is strong!!

Manali Trip: Day 2

In the morning we started towards Manali all over again, this time in the right direction though[:)].. It was a beautiful morning, the cool fresh air pumping into our lungs, we felt a bit energised.. Within a few hours, we were in the hilly region.. It was a great sight.. The rising sun in the mountains!! It felt like the start of a good trip now..

(As we opened our eyes and pulled the curtains, that's the scene we saw!!)

(The beautiful river looked so green and beautiful)

(The road, that covered the mountains like snakes, looked so fine)

(River Beas, that travelled alongside us..)

As the beautiful locations were taking our breath away, a few of us were thinking about the other bus.. Well, I was also thinking about my luggage, but after the first stop and that mouthwash without a proper brush later, I wasn't bothered about the wherabouts of the other bus which has already covered this beautiful place while its passengers were all sleeping.. We secretly were loving being lost and thanking our stars for letting us see the beauty as the sun was rising..

(The early morning brush on the road)

After seeing the beautiful landscape from my window and bored of playing all the games, I went on inside the crew cabin of the bus to see the most amazing and splendorous scenes.. As each and every turn in the mountains opened new avenues, I enjoyed looking ahead to what beauty would unfold before my eyes after each turn..

There was this double lane tunnel on the Ambala-Manali National Highway Number 21.. It was 2.8 to 3 km long (as told by my friends).. I later googled it to find this bit of information - On August 5 2006, Mr Virbhadra Singh, the then Chief Minister of Himachal Pradesh, inaugurated the 2,809 metre-long double lane tunnel near Aut on the Ambala-Manali National Highway 21..

(The Allain Duhangan Hydroelectric Project (ADHP) built on Allain and Duhangan tributaries of Beas river near Kullu and Manali )

(The Bridge where our bus was fined for lack of some papers and we stepped down to touch the river.. It was chilling cold water and a few did slip from the rock we were standing into the freezing cold water..)

(We getting in the river to touch the water as it was getting late for a dip in it..[:)])

By the time we made our way up, we were already getting late and were still quite away from our hotel.. As we set again, we were all tired and irritated.. All of us just wanted to just keep ourselves warm in our rooms and take a hot water shower!!

College!!!

I am back to normal college life.. Normal, though is really not what we would call all this!!!

Went to college on Tuesday, October 20, 2009.. It was a hectic day and back to a schedule after a break was a bit too difficult!! I attended the first few lectures and was tired by the noon.. I wanted a break and set out to spend some time with my friends.. It was a bit of pull leg session... I was though the major victim but it was great fun.. It was a very nice and great talk session.. I loved every bit of it.. I am being honest, I liked the entire session..

In the evening we met again and enjoyed this short meet after college..

Later talked a lot with friends over phone.. Making plans for Wednesday, talking about the happenings today.. Played a few online games and then went to sleep...

October 21, 2009
It was a very nice and exciting dat, starting on a high energy note, I was very happy to see Jai and Bhavu after almost a month.. [Yeah, they were on a month long holiday!!].. I was so delighted to see them that I bunked the first 2 lectures just to be with them.. We attended the 3 and 4th lectures, though unwillingly [I wanted to go out rather than sitting in the lecture].. In the lunch though, they came and we decided to go out.. It was a great outing.. Good food and lots of chats followed by pasteries, I think it was enough for the day!!


It was overall a great day and we had fun..

The Facebook experience...

I told you that I have joined Facebook and I am yet to get the 'I belong' feeling..

Well, a few days later, I have got that feeling..

I am enjoying these online games..

I am playing 3 games on Facebook right now..

1. Farm Ville
2. Vampire Wars
3. Mafia Wars

Farm Ville

This was the first application I used on Facebook.. I knew about this online game, thanks to newspapers and friends and I wanted to see what exactly is this game all about? What is it that keeps people glued to it and spend hours on it.. Newspapers claim that some people are becoming addicted to it that they wake in the middle of the night to harvest their crops or they will wilt!!![:)]... I wanted to feel that rush and madness too and wanted to know if it can really capture my imaginations for days!!!

Well, I played the game, I am on level 5 now.. I liked the game, loved to harvest crops and plough my land too.. My first set of crops wilted in the farm because I wasn't sure when they would be ready to harvest, but then I learned it next time.. Harvested a great yield and bought self a cherry tree, a plum tree, an orange and an apple tree.. Bought self a cow and a hen and got two yellow ribbons.. My farm is a small one and I have great ambitions..[:)]

Did I get those panic attacks.. Frankly speaking, yes I did.. I was worried about my crop when my first wilted and I was short on cash!! But I am cooler now.. Its going all fine..[:)]

(My farm picture)

Vampire Wars

I started playing this game almost immediately.. You know how fascinating I find these creatures of dark, The undead.. So, I signed up for this online game too enthusiastically.. I named my vampire Olivia and I was enjoying feasting on blood, killing other creatures and completing missions.. I rose to level 8 and was more than happy with the way my game was progressing till all the people decided to fight me.. I didn't bother self much about the clan and didn't build it.. Wasted a few favour points on buying health, while it it restored itself in a few hours.. I should have bought clan members.. Now everyone is attacking me and i don't know what to do with it.. I am loosing all my fights and wonder what's next!!

My main aim now is to earn enough favour points to have a clan member to help me fight more of such threats!! Send invites to friends?? Lets see what to do!!

(My Vampire 'Olivia')

Mafia Wars

I joined these mafia wars today itself.. The greatest plus point is that I am a member of a gang of strength 18.. I am happy, I wont be victimised here as I am not alone here.. Within a day I have earned my character, 'Emillie', a great place as a fearless fighter who has a property and various offense and defence items and who is completing jobs at great pace!! I am on level 6 and I achieved the 'Working Man' status in my gang..[;)]

Its quite fun to fight in a group rather than my lonely vampire.. I'll do something about it soon..

It was Diwali..

Oh, god!!!

The festive season is finally over.. It was too hectic.. Rush in the markets, lots of noise and so many sweets to gorge upon that I am sure I have put on a few extra kilos..!!!

What is on my mind now??

Obviously, to loose weight.. Oh! how we girls are so obsessed with our weights!! I think its the most important issue in our lives.. Followed closely by fashion.. What to wear, what not to!! I try my level best to keep my cool and not worry much about it, [I am not kidding, I once gained weight like anything till I stopped liking the girl in the mirror].. Now I check self in the mirror and see if I dislike the girl in the mirror again!!

What was great this DIWALI??

My friends visited me.. It was great to see them.. Playing games with my family.. Cards are let out in the open only during Diwali..:D

What was a put off?

Oh god!! The noise and the pollution..

Visualize this scene..

It was 10:30pm.. I was about to go and sleep.. When a loud noise from crackers almost deafened me and what followed it choked me to death.. Within a few seconds of the loud thud of the crackers bursting outside, a cloud of smoke entered our room.. It seeped in through the windows and from below the door and I was coughing and my nose receptors could feel the discomfort and my brain triggered some reflex to motion my muscles and I opened the doors to let out the smoke, so that the carbon-monoxide didn't kill me while I slept.. The deafening noise made me want to file some kinda petition to ban crackers forever!!

Ever since I was in class 5, I knew crackers were bad, I had been participating in the 'Say No to Crackers' campaigns and rallies!! I remember when we were told how small kids our age [for those who look for mistakes, I am writing these lines as a class 5 girl] were forced to work in inhuman conditions to make crackers in the factories with unhygienic working and living conditions.. How these kids were bounded labourers and didn't get a pay for this dangerous job and we, on the other hand, just burst them to gain joys for a few seconds!! Since then, I am supporting 'Say No to Crackers'..

Overall it was just fine..

I also got back my luggage.. [Oh, its a long story.. Wait for the pics and stories about my Manali trip and you'll know all..[:)]]

Trying Facebook..

I have finally signed up for facebook.. I wasn't registering on that social networking site because I thought I have had enough of social networking sites after my stint with Orkut..

Ever since I stepped into college, I was becoming more and more aware of the necessary evil of 'Social Networking' sites.. I was asked by all my friends to join Orkut and I agreed.. To stay in touch was the reason quoted!! Well, I finally settled into the mode and was getting used to the social networking site but within a few months my friends wanted me to sign up on Facebook too.. I drew the line then.. I won't sign up on another social networking site.. While people were all discussing how amazing Facebook was, I was resolving not to give into the temptation.. I was fine with Orkut, but people were increasingly deserting this site for the other!!

I then thought of giving it a shot.. Signed up yesterday and I didn't find it that exciting.. Its just for all those people who don't have other options to spend their time.. Honestly, that's my opinion, you may differ.. But the truth is, its not what I expected it to be like.. Or maybe it'll take time to sink in.. Before I get used to the way things work there.. Lets see how it turns out to be..:D

Manali Trip: Day 1

Well,

I think I can talk about the trip now.. It wasn't something I expected!! I know I shouldn't expect things to be good in the first place, but its human nature, so couldn't help expecting amazing things as it was my first outing with friends..

One thing is for sure, for a lazy being like me, a tightly scheduled trip requiring you to get up at 6, to get ready to leave by 7 in the morning and being up till 10 in the night without a little nap in the noon, is more of a torture than a break!!! Its not something we are used to!!![:D]

Reached the college by 3 but nothing much to do till 5:30 or so.. We sat there laughing, chatting and clicking photos before we leave our beloved college [Don't take the word beloved too seriously].. It was a long wait before the bus finally showed up.. It was almost 7 by then.. We were alloted a very rickety bus!! It was newly painted and the paint wasn't dry.. The AC wasn't working and the door couldn't be closed, forget locked!!

(Waiting for the bus with friends)

(At the Toll Plaza - Panipat)

(At the Toll Plaza)

(The Toll Plaza - Panipat)

So it wasn't a good bus nor the seats were comfortable.. But the last nail in the coffin was the fact that our luggage was kept in the other bus as the trunk lid was jammed!! So as we struggled without even a sheet to cover ourselves with in the chilling night, I was more worried about my specs and most important, my toothbrush and paste.. How would I live without brushing?

(Eating at a roadside Dhabba)

As I was shouting at top of my voice to be given my luggage to get my blanket but my major concern was my brush!! We were assured that we would get our luggage in the morning but the morning had something else in store for us!!

We could hardly sleep in these harsh conditions, but somehow I was able to doze for a few hours.. As I woke up amidst a feud.. The girls wanted the bus to halt for a freshen up break but the driver wasn't pushing the brakes.. Finally he succumbed!! As I was returning from the washroom, I heard people discussing that we were on the wrong route!! 40 kms in the wrong direction!! I was shocked to hear it.. What was more disheartening was the fact that the other bus didn't keep track of our bus and didn't wait for us even after they were informed that we were on the wrong route and were almost lost!!

(The road at night from the bus window)

This is how the day one ended!! In great discomfort and nothing to feel good about!!

I am back..

Hi,

I am back from Manali.. How was this experience?? Well, there is lot to tell.. Some good, some bad and some worst situations!!

Will share the tour in bits in the coming days along with pictures...

[:)]

Things still on my wish list..

These are the things still on my wish list..

• Nice pair of heels!!! Oh, I am dying to own an awesome pair!!!
• A digital camera.. I am bad with electronic goods and I am yet not able to coax them into buying one for me.. Lets see how soon this one gets fulfilled!!
• I am not visiting the psychiatrist for the time being..[;)] So my dream fantasy of marrying one has to wait.. Moreover, I am too young to get married!!
• I am still considering those yoga classes to control my temper..
• I'll try not to come into a direct ego tussle with any of my teachers!! Hard, but I'll try..

Lets see how soon some of them are going to shape up.. Most of the amazing things though have to wait!! I meant the Psychiatrist and Digital camera and yeah, the most important, HEELS!!![;)]

Planning for my brief vacation...

I am going on a brief vacation to Manali.. Its going to be fun, at least I am hoping..

The hectic part is to pack for a trip.. What to pack and what not to!!

Its such a big deal because we gals carry our entire home with us in our handbags even when we are out of our dens for just a few hours [I used the word den because I consider self a Tigress [;)]].. Imagine our dilemma when we are out for more than 4 days!! What would we do in such a scenario? What not to carry is our biggest decision to be taken!!

Most of the time Mum does my packing, but I am trying to be the boss this time round, that means a lot more of contradictions and a lot more of confusion!! We'll fight every few minutes and restart again and again.. Well I am not predicting things but this is what is going on for a few days!! So decided to give in and let her take the responsibility.. I am better off taking responsibility at work [Here though it means college and studies!!]..

So now she will see that everything I would need is packed and sent with me..

Well this also means that I put the plan of buying nice pair of heels be put on hold too..[:(] I wanted them so bad!! Its always this way.. The more badly I want a thing, the more struggle before getting to lay my hands on it.. Yeah, its with almost with everyone else too but I have every right to still complain about it.. Huh...

Yogi isn't coming and so is Garu.. But I am still expecting its gonna be alright.. Die hard optimist in certain situations.. Some feel I am so contradicting that I sometimes call self optimist and pessimist at the same time!! Well that's me... Deal with it.. I am sometimes too optimistic sometimes not.. It depends on how passionately I believe in whatever I think I can predict!!

I am yet to finalize things after these last minute hiccups and hope it would all go fine!!

Its a college trip and thus with friends, I feel its gonna be hell lot of things we can remember in future and laugh about.. Too optimist right now..

Will still think about those awesome heels I look forward to buy..[;)]

Life changes in a second...

I want to buy a pair of nice heels..
Everyone knows we girls love to choose our pair of heels after great considerations.. We just don't go and buy a pair without being fully satisfied..


A few years ago, I used to wear heels.. I have owned some very amazing pieces.. The strappy numbers, the platforms, the kitten heels and even the pencil heels.. I had loved each pair and had worn them till they were not fit for wearing.. Amazing pairs in all different colours..









But as I was getting into the second year of college, my love for heels gave way to flats.. I just felt like changing into something I can run around in .. Something that can let my feet breathe!! Something that would sore the sole of my foot less.. So I bought these lovable floaters.. They are comfortable and quite a charmer.. I love wearing them around.. My feet aren't aching by the end of the day even if I am standing on my feet the entire day.. I am counting walking separately because its harder than just standing.. Anyways, I am definitely truly in love with my pair of floaters I bought but now I wanna move back to some heels..




For the past year I have only worn floaters.. I didn't wear any other form of footwear and it calls for a change.. Its time I add some inches to my frame in the vertical dimension only.. Who wanna grow fat anyways.. Not until I am paid to.. May be not even if I am paid.. Anyways, what I want now is a nice pair of heels.. I did go to a few shops but just couldn't get myself to fall head over heels in love with a pair..[;)] Anyways, I am quite determined to own a pair soon..




So I called my friend Jai.. She is amazing.. Has awesome shopping capabilities.. I on the other hand behave like the guys, buy it here and now.. Why look around the entire market when you have liked it here.. But she like a true shop alcoholic would look through the entire things put for sale before buying anything.. Sometimes we go from one market to another and back to the first market and buy what we liked in the first go.. I sometimes feel like picking a fight over this issue.. Was kidding, but I do tease her for this classic girly streak..[:D]

So she is the one with whom I am sure, I am not wasting money in buying a thing.. It is a well researched and a very thoughtful decision, considering the fact that I just tend to buy things from the first store I enter!! Don't even try to look what the other store has on display.. I am this way for the food too, no need to check the menu, I'll stick to my plain dish unless someone coaxes me to try something new.. Well, that's me contrary to others gals..

Thus as soon as I was clear about what I want, I knew who to ask for help.. I gave Jai a call and we decided to check the 'Rajori Market' as we both feel we'll find great footwear there.. So as we were chalking our plans for tomorrow, she asked me to hold for a minute as she had another call.. As she put me on hold to take the other call, I was imagining the various amazing heels I can choose from.. Since she is very avid talker, I hung up to call her later..

Within a minute she rang me back.. I was about to reconfirm our plan when she suddenly blurted out.. 'Nikki, we can't go tomorrow.. I have to visit the university tomorrow!! Did I tell you about the place.. Kapil [her school friend] told me the guy who was giving these form was whirling his kurta over his head!!'.. Yeah, it was the kurta he was supposed to wear!! It was utter horror.. I can't see myself going all the way to Rohtak.. Its reputation as a place isn't too good.. Mum says so too.. She might just go there tomorrow, means we aren't going shopping!![:(] .. Why always me, I wonder.. We then mocked the fact 'How could any of our plans go well'!!!

Whatever we plan, it has to go wrong.. In the worst possible way.. So we assumed we were mad to think we could have this one plan executed without its last minute hiccups!! Silly us!! So as I was about to go on my 'You never do a thing in time', She spoke up, "This time I was doing things one day before the last date!!" [:D].. I smiled and said 'I was about to go on that topic only'.. As we laughed on the latest develpoments, I knew the nice pair of heels have to wait..

I didn't realise it then...

The number of holidays we get every other day is driving me mad.. While some really have things to do in this small break from college life, the rest are getting bored at home..


I was sitting next to my Dad and watching a movie when suddenly a huge procession on road started blaring loud and deafening music, forcing me to get up and see what was the occasion.. I was surprised to see a Dussehra procession.. Now? After almost a week? I was left wondering.. I shouted out to ask Dad if the festival was on 28th of September, the previous Monday!! He replied in an affirmative.. I then went in to inform my sister that Dussehra was on September 28 and we have a procession now!!

I then realised that this year there wasn't a single procession marking the event when someone dressed as Lord Rama recreates the magic of the moment of Ravana meeting his end!! He was killed by Rama in a battle that signifies the victory of good over bad.. [Yeah, the concept of all the movies made around the world!!]...

As a child I used to wait for the procession.. The majestic figure of Ravana and his ten heads and his moustache always made him a figure so fantastic.. I liked his majesty.. I think I like Bad Boys!![;)] .. Jokes apart, he was always majestic, with great powers and wisdom.. Though he was brought down by his silly acts.. But I loved to see someone impersonating him.. I have seen his effigy burn to ashes that marked the end of the long struggle between the good and bad [though cut to 15 days now].. I remember going to those packed 'Ramlila' grounds, sitting on those couches laid for viewers who were some sort of VIPs..[:D].. Yeah I sat on the VIP couches.. But it was fun to be there watching them essay the entire epic for you day after day... I am a big gal now and don't look forward to them anymore.. But seems the kids don't enjoy it anymore.. Looks like it is dying.. I loved the 'Ramlila' part in Delhi 6, the movie, for those who don't know.. I think it was cute.. It was fun to see a new concept in a movie.. But the recent happening have disappointed me a bit..

I wondered why was there this disparity?? All these years I have been noting the deterioration in the quality of procession but didn't realise that there wasn't any this year.. I wonder what has happened to all the people.. May be that is why I didn't realise the festival come and go.. Whatever may be the reason, I wonder if one day all these 'Ramlilas' and procession would die? Lets see what the future holds..

Gandhi Jayanti..

Its Mahatama Gandhi's Birthday.. What it means to most of us is just another national holiday.. But seems the entire world is obsessed with Gandhi.. The Father of the NATION is the most charismatic man in history it seems.. The entire newspaper is filled with articles about the man or at least carries a picture of the khadi clad man on every page.. The teachings, I didn't use the word preachings because he practiced what he preached, so teachings seems more appropriate.. He has suddenly becoming an icon again..

Youngsters love to flaunt him on their T-shirts.. The children have been dressing up like him since ages for the fancy dress competitions and the old always liked him.. I don't know what to say about him but he was definitely a great force to reckon with in the pre-independence India.. I think I can call him a great leader because he could channelise the masses for a common cause.. Of course the sacrifices and contributions of all the revolutionaries is sometimes righty weighed over Gandhi's effort but he was successful in making the masses a part of his struggle.. As we enjoy this democracy, we should never forget these men who contributed in thier own ways to ensure we live the way we live now..

We can watch any of the various Gandhi inspired movies on television today.. Some on his life, some on the movements he started and some on his teachings.. So while we laugh at the most silly teaching that says, 'Present your other cheek when someone slaps you'.. We can surely look up to him for being successful in binding the people of different faiths and cultures for a common cause that makes us feel secure today..

[Photos courtesy - gandhifoundation.org and t-shirts.cafepress]

Spare me the honor of being the most discussed topic in the hallway..

I sometimes wonder if I am really that hard nut to crack? Am I really that stubborn and obstinate being? I sometimes do feel that I tend to over react, but am I to be blamed for everything, I think we all have a tendency of finding faults in others to save our skin!!

I am just another human being with a faulty personality but to generalise my personality like this would amount to cruelty..[;)] OK.. I know I went overboard but still I dislike being judged all the time.. I am not participating in one of the many contests on various shows on television then why do I need to please anyone? I wonder why do people want to categorise me as, 'I know her, she is way too much!!' or 'I know her, she is fine..' I don't need you guys to do the talking for me.. I won't pay you for saying either of the two sentences..

I generally say, 'I don't know much about him/her' to any inquiries regarding someone.. I do have opinions about people but I don't want to proclaim it to the world!! My opinion, my wish.. You need not agree or disagree.. Its based on my observation and my experience.. Don't want to know if you faced anything similar.. I don't talk much about others unless I really intend to tarnish their image or enhance it.. I don't need to say, 'He/she is damn irritating' to a near stranger, just because he/she wants to know my opinion on the subject of their research.. Or praise him/her to great lengths.. In case of close friends or amazingly beloved enemies, the rule doesn't hold..[;)]

I am just fed up of hearing people who didn't even talk to me once say 'I have heard she is too arrogant and nasty being'.. Or a simple 'she is fine'.. Both the sentences are damn irritating.. Who made you an expert on dealing with me.. Who gave you the right or the degree to talk about me with this smirk of arrogance as if you have spent a lifetime with me? You say a 'Hi' and move on towards your destination and their acquaintances inquire about you while you can still hear them discuss you.. I prefer being unsocial to this unnecessary fuss you generate when you walk down a corridor.. God save me from being the topic that pops up whenever you move across the hallway.. I am not amused.. I am not..

So please spare me the honor of being the most discussed topic in the hallway.. There are so many others who crave for it.. Who go to lengths to be the topic of everyone's discussion.. I hate to see you looking at me and talking to your buddy, making it so obvious that you are talking about me.. Be it the guys or the gals, none of you is that smart to disguise your main focus.. Go get a life.. I would be happy not to be the topic of your discussions.. I am not amused by these glares.. At least don't stare at me while you talk about me, may be it would make you all bearable, while all this while I feel like walking upto you and ask, 'What's your problem?'.. But I deter self from doing so, as I don't want to give you a new thing to talk about me..

Wow man.. I never thought the change was just round the corner.. I expect some fun now..

Now this is the newest thing in my life.. My story...

My Dad wants to take me to a doctor, a psychiatrist to be more specific.. Why?

Beacuse I don't like anything.. Beacuse I don't like anyone.. Beacuse I am becoming an irritated being who picks up a fight on the slightest provocation.. Because I am being to ruthless in my speech.. I wonder if he wants to know the real reason or he thinks I can be cured by a doctor.. Whatever may be the intention, I may soon find myself in a psychiatrist's chamber.. And if I am gonna experience it, I'll let you guys know.. May be it would be a fun to meet someone who is trying to know your real intent while trying to talk to you and not make your brain work overtime..[;)].. Lets see if he comes up with a genuine problem or he calls it anxiety or depression..

I am excited even at the prospects of meeting one.. I always thought that only a psychiatrist can understand me and that I'll make an amzing subject of research in the mental dimensions [I mean brain, I don't think I have any such problem.. I know what my problem is.. And I don't need any help!!] and thus look forward to even marrying one some day.. Who knows I may really find someone who really understand me and my behaviour.. Hope he turns out to be handsome.. Oh!! god, this thought just passed my mind.. I would be really disappointed if it turns out to be a woman.. What say?[;)][:D]

puzzled sentences.. Wanted to check if it helps...

I am feeling too lonely today..

I don't know what is wrong with me..

Wanna cry...

Just wanna go away.. To a place where I can hear myself think!!!

I am not liking anything..

My mum is irritating me big time these days!!!

I need a change and I don't know what to do!!!

I wish I could make all those things right..

I wish I could talk to someone I wanna talk to!!!

I wish I could undo whatever I have done wrong!!

I don't wanna fight anymore..

I think I should try meditating.. I wish I could focus onto one thing at a time..

I wonder are these sentences gonna help me or I am just wasting my time...

I am feeling low...

The feeling doesn't go..

I know the cause..

Can't do anything because...

Don't wanna talk about it now..

To be prepared for it, I wonder how..

End of the silly strange post..

I think its time to bed..

And take some rest..

The next day would be fine...

As the new dawn brings a new beginning..

But what about this pending ending..

Lets just wait and watch...

Till its time for a blast...